Halloween is only a few days away and, everywhere, we see scary costumes, corn-field mazes and spooky ghost houses. It’s a fun time for kids and adults to let go and pretend.
It’s also the season, when we’re more acceptable of the world of the paranormal. Perhaps, we’re even open to tune in and listen for something beyond what we normally hear and see.
Our bodies feel the subtle energy shifts, as Nature begins to slumber. The trees drop their leaves and the plants die with the cold temperatures. There’s a bite in the air and the sky takes on a different hue, as the sun slowly alters its path around the earth.
Underneath it all, there’s a fascination with death and the unknown; otherwise, why would zombies, Dracula and once-upon-a-time fairy tales be so popular these days.
Does it scare you to talk about “ghosts” or entertain the idea of loved ones still being with you, energetically, on a different plane? Maybe, that’s what both fascinates and scares us, the unknown, the invisible and the obscure.
When I was growing up, my grandmother was comfortable with the invisible entities of her loved ones who had passed on – mother, father and 2-year old baby boy, Billy Bob. It was second nature to her to engage with them, when she saw them or felt their presence. I could feel their energy too and, even if I didn’t understand it very well, I knew it was real.
Though it doesn’t scare me to talk about spectral entities or paranormal phenomena (in fact, it’s intriguing), I do have a fear of death, when it comes to seeing an entity or someone dying. It’s something I’ve tried to change or learn how to become more comfortable with but, let’s face it, it’s hard to practice, when you can’t conjure up a spirit, whenever you’d like.
I’ve had two incidents where I was gripped with the fear of death. One was when my surrogate grandfather was in the midst of dying and the other was shortly after my grandmother died. In both situations, my loved one tried to tell me something important. The feeling still lingers and haunts me and I wish I knew how to understand it.
The first was when I was only 19. I went to the hospital one evening to visit my grandfather. As I stepped in the room, I could see him sitting up in bed but, as I approached, he opened his mouth to talk but nothing came out. Fear gripped me, as I briefly saw his arm go up and down and mouth open desperately trying to talk.
I instantly knew that he was dying and fled. I wish I’d had the courage to get him help and stay to the end but something took over and I ran, as fast as my legs would take me. When my sister found me downstairs later, to tell me he had died, I was still shaking and crying my face ashen. To this day, I still know that feeling. I send him my love and wish I knew what he was trying to say.
The second was shortly after my grandmother had died. I knew she was finally at peace reunited with the loved ones she had communicated with all her life from the other side. It was the night before her funeral and my sister and I had met with my aunt and uncle with plans of spending the night and going to the funeral together.
It was in the wee hours of the morning and everyone was in bed. My sister and I were sound asleep with her newborn between us, when I had this dream or vision ― you might call it. My grandmother appeared before me and she wanted to talk with me and tell me something.
Before I knew it, I was being forcefully shaken by my uncle with everyone gathered around. Apparently, I was screaming so loud it woke everyone up, except me. I never heard myself scream. I was left with an empty feeling of the loss of my grandmother and more questions. Like my grandfather, what was she trying to tell me?
It was another example of gripping fear but interesting it showed up in my subconscious. I wish I had learned from her how to be comfortable with spirits and the world beyond. It makes me wonder what is so deep in my psyche that triggers this fear. I hope I will learn someday.
How about you – what makes you scared? Have you ever been frightened where you froze on the spot or ran? Maybe you have a phobia and are afraid of heights or spiders.
Pat from the ol’ kitchen table