It’s the day after Valentine’s Day. Is how you feel about your beloved still fresh and vibrant? All the celebration is over and the expectations have been fulfilled, what do you do now to keep that spark going – anything? Or….is it back to normal, same old routines, job, chores and running errands? Do you let the responsibilities of life dampen the thrill of what you and your loved one shared on Valentine’s Day? It was a special day wasn’t it?
(Photo by Joseph Hoban aka Lenscap – www.sxc.hu.home)
If you read my last post on this series in Love (A Song For All Lovers (John Denver – The Wildlife Concert) – Part 4 of 5), I talked about connecting with your heart and soul. This was renewed for me on Valentine’s Day when my husband and I enjoyed a quiet dinner together at home and danced to one of my favorite songs “For You” by John Denver. I felt as if our hearts connected in a deeper way more than ever before and I could understand the connection my aunt and uncle had (see my previous post) but this was reserved for my husband and I. The day after Valentine’s I can still capture the sweetness of the moment we shared as we listened and danced to that song. “How long will this last?” you ask. “I don’t know.” And it doesn’t matter – the essence of the moment and what we shared in that dance is carrying me to a new level of love and appreciation for my life’s partner.
How do you keep the spark alive? Here are some ways that come to mind for me:
1. Be thankful for the partner you have and appreciate their strengths and work together on those things that aren’t as strong.
2. Always say “thank you” for the things they do for you.
3. Look for ways to support one another when one of you is struggling with something.
4. Always remember to be romantic and don’t forget to say “I love you”, not as a cliché but as words from the heart with meaning. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.
5. Encourage – not attack. If you don’t like what they’re doing find a way to show them without breaking their spirit.
6. I remember what my 101-yr old resident at Morningstar Assisted Living said about “True Love”: “If you care about someone, you will never do anything to harm them.”
7. Be spontaneous and goofy and laugh, laugh, laugh at each others’ silliness.
8. Try to be in the present moment and cherish the time you have with each other. Don’t be too proud to say “I’m sorry”. Mitch Albom’s book called For One More Day is about a man who gets to spend one more day with his mother who had died. Dr. Joe Vitale, from The Secret, briefly shares his feelings about this book in this video clip “15-Minute Miracle by Dr. Joe Vitale”.
9. Receive the compliments your partner gives you and acknowledge what they do for you. Also listen to and honor those things they tell you constructively that you need to change and work on.
10. And, I’m sure you’ve all heard this and it’s so true, never go to bed mad. Find a way to reconcile your differences or at the very least agree to disagree.
Our partners, our lovers, our companions and teachers are there with us on this path of life so we can grow. We push each others’ buttons, that’s part of being human. But the love that has been created within us has been placed there to be understanding and compassionate and happy we have this life to live together with our beloved – side-by-side, day-after-day, moment-to-moment. We are here to learn from one another. Just as John Denver sings “For You”, I wish this same true love for all of you – forever!
From the kitchen table – Pat
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