I remember at the beginning of January, it became very clear in one of my
meditations that this would be a year of tremendous growth mentally and
spiritually for me.
I would finally resolve and release some life-long mental conditioning, internal baggage and fears. You know the tapes that keep saying things in your head like: “Am I good enough? What will they think if I say that? I’m not that smart ― what if they don’t like it? What if they don’t agree? You better not do that!” and on and on.
Since December 2012, the shifts and changes in my life were becoming more obvious and intense ― no longer easy to ignore. I was finding myself with more courage in telling my stories and what I’m about.
It started New Year’s Eve when I hit the “Publish” button in my first attempt of self-publishing my e-book. Then the shifts carried over into January and I had been led back into practicing meditation.
I was in deep meditation one night when I heard and felt a deep part of myself speaking, calling out. I was making a request and at the same time a declaration: “I want to be REAL!”
It felt as if my whole being was expressing this intent “to be on the outside – who I feel I am on the inside”. Over the years, I’ve worked on this over and over but what bubbled up wasn’t the full extent of what I felt in my heart only bits and pieces. Feeling frustrated I would again retreat. But this time, it was different – there wasn’t immediate withdrawal but a change.
I found new opportunities presenting themselves and myself jumping on board taking on projects I had never done before. It was scary but the courage was there. The more I allowed myself to ‘go for it’ and try, the more opportunities would show up.
In addition to writing an e-book and posts, I was granted the opportunity to host on my site a guest interview with Brandon Pearce, invited to submit a story by Alex Blackwell at The Bridgemaker for his new book and, lastly, I received approval to open my proposal up for votes on Change This for a manifesto if I make the cut. This is the big one ― a manifesto in which I write a summary declaring those things that are important to me and what I plan to do with them going forward.
This is the one piece I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around as I mostly write telling stories. Writing a manifesto is a different way of thinking and writing.
Merriam-Webster defines a manifesto as “a written statement declaring publicly the intentions, motives, or views of its issuer”. And Wikipedia further describes it as “a published verbal declaration of the intentions, motives, or views of the issuer, be it an individual, group, political party or government”.
There are so many sources on the topic to help and I came across one site I found interesting. It comes close to the purpose of why I’m writing a manifesto.
It’s called “How and Why to Write Your Own Personal Manifesto” a guest post written by Zach Sumner on Brett and Kate McKay’s site, Art of Manliness. Zach gives an account of what a personal manifesto is to him, why it was so important, life changing, to him to write it and his source of inspiration.
I guess for me I take from what Zach has written and the writing of my manifesto is that it’s another way of being real ― putting myself out there. I just have never been this direct and precise in declaring things that are important to me, my beliefs, motives and intentions.
Here we are and we haven’t completed the first quarter of this year yet. I’m excited and have to admit a little scared where the rest of the year may lead. Up to this point, there’s more than enough evidence that something has happened within me ― something shifted. What about you? Are you feeling and seeing significant changes in your life? I hope you’ll share them with us.
Pat from the ol’ kitchen table
Many of us scared at what the future will hold it is full of unknown events and potholes and twists and turns………but life it to be lived and enjoyed
Joanne – so true. We like to be in control and taking the leap can be scary. I found myself taking more leaps lately — sometimes I’m not really sure where I’m at. 🙂 That’s the fun of it all!
I find what you write to be very interesting and compeling, making me think.
Problem is I smell rubber burning every time I think LOL
Hi John – glad to see you here and happy you stopped by. How have you been? Thank you for reading and glad you liked the story. Got some stuff going on–good stuff. New things popping up on the horizon and I’m excited for what’s around the bend. Sniff, sniff must not be burning too much. I don’t smell any smoke (hahaha).
It’s good talking to you again and hope you’ll come back soon. 🙂
You expressed exactly what is happening to me. I was widowed almost two years ago, and am reinventing myself, or perhaps more accurately, evolving. It is a bit daunting, but exciting at the same time. I went on a cruise with my also widowed neighbor, visited kids in California, took a public speaking class, and am now taking dancing lessons, all while working on my dream book. I have periodic setbacks, but the sea is parting. Thanks for letting me know I have company.
Thanks Cathy for stopping by for the read. It’s nice to know I’m not alone too in feeling these shifts. You’re right about it being daunting in not quite knowing where you’re going. It sounds like you have alot of exciting prospects popping up in your life despite the total change in losing your life partner. You’re an inspiration to me with your courage and zest for life. I wish you much success in these new chapters of your life and look forward to hearing of your new adventures. 🙂