Giving and Receiving

Posted on December 21, 2007 by Pat

I touched on this topic last weekend with some of the residents at Morningstar Assisted Living when we talked about “Generosity”.
Down through the years, there have always been people giving and people receiving but the quality of how we give and receive has changed. Also, our attitudes and the value we place on what we give has changed. Perhaps, today, because we live in a culture where products are mass produced, we’re used to getting what we want instantaneously and in the process we lose some of the appreciation.

In the past, the carpenter or cabinet maker that honed their craft and built each item by hand were unique in their style. It took weeks, sometimes months, before it was completed. When it was finished, it was a piece of art. There was no piece exactly alike and the craftsmanship and labor that went into those pieces were greatly appreciated because of the work that was put into it. When you gave or received a gift like this, the attitude was different. You knew what it took to construct that piece and it wasn’t taken lightly.

Today, we have so many choices and very little consideration is taken into the expertise of the craftsmanship. Yes, we want to buy quality work and you can tell by inspection if the work is good or poor but that’s usually where it ends. It’s not just in how we buy our gifts today that is different; it’s that we’ve lost the appreciation or value of these gifts. There’s no way we’d be able to supply the demand if mass production didn’t come into play but something has changed down through the years in why we give and how. We have a shopping list and we check it off as we purchase the items. It’s more of how much I accomplished: with that job now being out of the way – onto what else do I have to do. I know. I’m shopping at Christmas. It can be a horrendous undertaking. What I’m talking about is our attitude with how and what we’re giving….and receiving. There are two sides and I’ve just talked about the giving side. It needs to be balanced.

Don’t you know how excited you get when you’ve found that perfect gift you know your sister or brother will love? It makes you feel good and you can’t wait to give it to them. You watch as they take the package and you anxiously wait as they tear it open. It’s pure joy not only for them but for you. It’s also pure joy for the person receiving that gift and seeing you beam as they open it. They are just as blessed. This is the art of receiving and it is just as important. I would venture to say that for most of us it’s easier to give than to receive. I wonder why that is. Perhaps, it’s a sense of humility or a reflection of self worth. I don’t know but I’ll be noting my reactions. (I’m still thinking about this on a personal note.) But no matter what, how expensive or how large the gift, it’s the spirit and attitude of which it was both given and received – the love that was exchanged. We can teach our children these attitudes by helping them shop or make gifts to give during Christmas and on special occasions throughout the year. Then, they can also learn the spirit of giving not just receiving. They seem to have that receiving thing down pat.

Enjoy this holiday season and take note of the attitudes you place on giving and receiving this year. It will enhance and bless the spirit of the season even more.

From the kitchen table – Pat
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Attachments

Posted on December 19, 2007 by Pat

I read something this morning that struck me and made me think, particularly at this time of the year when we’re all scurrying around looking for that perfect gift.

Amy Blackmarr in her book, Going to Ground talks about working hard on dropping her attachments, material things. To her, it comes in reflection to something Thomas Merton said. I quote from Amy, “Thomas Merton wrote that everything you love for its own sake blinds your intellect and keeps you from knowing the way things really are….” Now in this passage, Merton does not specifically target material possessions; he says everything you love. But I, like Amy, wondered if we do lose touch with reality – the way things really are – when we have a lot of material possessions. Are we so attached to these things that it becomes our identity? It seems easier to attach to an inanimate object that requires nothing from us in return than with our relationships. Our attachments to people, family and friends, appear more difficult, as it requires work and looking at things from another’s point of view. We really love our stuff even though it’s not capable of giving love in return and yet maybe that is what we want – no responsibility or accountability. We give names to ships, cars and I remember my father lived in a house named Bluebird. Just recently, we sold a tractor and I was sad, like I was losing a member of the family. It served us well and I was going to miss it. You work so hard to get the things you want that you’re invested in it even though it has no investment in you, albeit the bank would come looking for you if you didn’t pay.

Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “You’re not what you have. You’re not what you do. And, you’re not what people think of you.” I’m thinking the less we’re attached to our material possessions the more we are free to know ourselves and others. We’re able to know the way things really are. We need to become more invested in our loved ones, friends and neighbors, co-workers and pets. I think this is what this holiday season reminds us and why it feels so good. It’s because this is truly what we were created to be: one with our Source and each other. Something to think about, huh?

From the kitchen table – Pat~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Passion and Enthusiasm

Posted on December 18, 2007 by Pat

©© You can usually tell by talking with them that they live and breathe what they are talking about. You can feel the energy shift when that type of person enters a room. They attract everyone to them and you feel you just want to be around them. On the other hand, there are some people that have charismatic personalities but they don’t carry the same heart-felt passion. They don’t attract people in the same way. They attract people the way a sales person might. What is the difference? What is genuine? In my opinion, I think it comes from one’s life experience and what has touched their heart. If they can express themselves from that place, they don’t have to prove anything. They are coming from a place of love and they’re genuine.

I want to share with you a video of such a person, Randy Pausch, a 47-year professor at Carnegie Melon University’s Entertainment and Technology Center. He talks about how he achieved most of his childhood dreams and gives realistic advice as to how we can also live our lives so we can make our dreams come true too. You’ll see passion and someone full of life and enthusiasm and yet he has been diagnosed with a terminal disease. Be inspired of someone with a positive and inspirational outlook on life. The video is over an hour long but it’s well worth the viewing if you want a lift for the day. It was entitled, 47-Year Old Professor Gives Exuberant ‘Last Lecture’

I believe we all have the potential to live our dreams as Randy and we all can be a light in our little corner of the world. In fact, this is what we’re supposed to do. Look for your passion – your genuine enthusiasm – from that place in your heart that’s truth. Then, go take it to the world.

“Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy.” – Sai Baba

End Note: Randy lost his battle with cancer on July 25, 2008. May you rest in peace, Randy, and may the angels be with you.

From the kitchen table – Pat
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Acknowledgements: "Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving more...

Are You Happy with the Results?

Posted on December 18, 2007 by Pat

Is what you’re doing in your life a crap shoot? Do you feel that some things you do are hit and miss and you wonder how it’s all happening? You may wonder at times why things go the way they do – is it a random effort spinning around on a wheel with no direction until it hits a slot? It doesn’t work that way. There’s too much information out there telling us that this is an intelligent system we live and engage in and we need to learn how it operates. I’ll bet you’ve read some of these books and articles, too, or you wouldn’t be reading this.

We are incredible beings living in this system and in this day and age more and more information is being published on how we can tap into that potential and be successful. The key, however, is to be willing. How willing are you to do what you need to do to take action? Sometimes, because we don’t see results we hammer at ourselves and put ourselves down as being a failure. We are our biggest critic but in reality it may be something that we haven’t seen or been able to realize yet. It just wasn’t available to us before. The more we read and open up to the possibilities, the more we are led to see what we need. This intelligent system doesn’t beat down; it’s patient and gently guiding. Here’s an interview and a blog posting that may be of interest to you and if you’re open to it they may be of help: Dr. Wayne Dyer’s The Seven Secrets of a Joyful Life, where he talks from a spiritual context and Bill Harris of Centerpointe in Stuck About Money or Success where, with his Holosync program, he talks about some of things we can do to take action and take charge of our lives. Two different approaches and yet connected.

Our lives are precious and of great value and what we do is not a crap shoot. We can have purpose, learn direction and see the results but we need to pay attention and align ourselves with the energies that are available within and outside of us and use them. We can become anything we desire and live the lives we dream. Ask for guidance and then be willing to follow what appears before you.

Napoleon Hill said, “If you can’t do great things, do small things in a great way. Don’t wait for great opportunities. Seize common, everyday ones and make them great.”

From the kitchen table – Pat
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Build This Blog and They Will Come

Posted on December 15, 2007 by Pat

In 1989, a movie came out entitled, “Field of Dreams”, with Kevin Costner playing the lead role. You may remember a famous quote from that movie, “If you build it, he will come.” It was a powerful movie about a corn farmer in Iowa who loved baseball. He hears a voice one day and understood the message to mean for him to build a baseball field on his farm. When he builds the field, ghosts of baseball legend Shoeless Jackson and seven other players from the 1919 Chicago White Sox come to play. Since then, I’ve heard this quote used in a number of ways so I thought I’d use it for today’s posting – “If I build this blog, they will come.”

For several years now, I’ve been searching for a venue for Wisdom for the Ages, a gathering I created in the corporate world where everyone (management/non-management) can come and sit in a circle, similar to Native American tradition, and, using a talking stick, share their wisdom on a number of topics (go to one of my postings for a little story of what it was like when I started this: Truth and Beauty). For most of my life, I’ve had the desire to connect, not only for myself but I also enjoy when others do. So, I started the talking-stick meetings and it was successful until that door closed and the company relocated back east. I then took it out of the corporate environment into leads groups, business groups, chambers of commerce, etc. and it didn’t really have the presence or accomplish what I felt it could have. As most of you, I’ve had countless experiences and lessons I’ve learned and I yearned to share them and in turn listen to others. I’ve always believed that if you felt safe – when you are the most vulnerable – and can talk from the heart, they are the times when healing takes place. That’s what I felt growing up listening, late at night, to the grownups talk sitting around the kitchen table. See a previous post on Family and Going Home. It was a bonding time, a safe haven, where you can tell it like you feel it and you’re still accepted and loved. I’ve wanted to create that for others in all walks of life whether in the corporate world, communities, families, etc., except the time or place never seemed to be right – until now.

Here we are with my 15th post. You can’t physically sit around a kitchen table but you can be reached from all ends of the globe through the wonders of the internet and we can connect. It has started and you’re coming and I thank you. I trust you’ll enjoy what you read. As this progresses, in the future I look forward to creating a forum where we can exchange our stories, our experiences and together share our wisdom. So, keep on coming and keep on reading. I value and appreciate all of you.

From the kitchen table – Pat
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