My awareness flickers ― on and off. Have you ever had that happen to you? So many times I catch moments when I feel a special warmth and connection. I try hard to hold onto it but it fades, like how *Oriah describes so well in her poem below.
As I pulled up out of sleep in the morning light,
I felt the Beloved sitting at the foot of my bed
beaming such love,
I felt every molecule of my being singing.
I struggled not to wake up,
afraid I would lose awareness of this Presence,
frightened that the way it filled my heart
with all I had ever ached for
would fade if I opened my eyes.
But a voice said: “It’s okay.
Open your eyes.
I am everywhere.
Your awareness flickers on and off,
like sunlight moving through clouds,
but I am here, always with you.”
~ Used with permission by Oriah (c) 2015
It’s in what she goes on to say I can picture that takes me back to the moment of my awareness ― it does flicker like sunlight in the clouds. I can feel it moving, as if it stops, then there’s a gentle flow, in and out. I feel the warmth and then a sudden coolness. It’s nice and peaceful and I want to remain there as long as my awareness allows.
But, it’s fickle and won’t be contained and I struggle with thinking that I must be doing something wrong. Then, as I read it again, I’m gently reminded not to admonish but only to know, “It’s okay . . . I am everywhere . . . I am here, always with you”.
Pat from the ol’ kitchen table
*inspired by famed poet, Oriah Mountain Dreamer for the “Invitation”, on her site at “The Green Bough” and by Karen Davis’ photo at Facebook’s “Open Door Dreaming”.