Can you remember a time, when you wanted something so bad, you prayed and prayed for it? I can ― a couple of times, actually, that stand out for me. Once was when I was a child and the other was when I am an adult, married with a young family and new residents in the mountains.
Thanks to a fellow blogger, Susan at “Finding Our Way Now”, for one of her stories that reminded me of this one particular time when I am an adult. I had completely forgotten about it and had to dig through my journals to recapture the events of what happened.
I hope it rekindles a time in your heart when you prayed for something you wanted. It’s doesn’t always have to be crucial where it will take moving heaven and earth. It may be for something small or pointless. What’s important is that it matters to you. The answers may not come in the form of a ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Maybe, they just come in a way of understanding. That’s what happened for me.
So, here is something I wanted and prayed for as it is entered in my journal:
(6-7-01 3:30 am Thursday)
The dream I had some 15 years ago came to me and I remembered it. We went to look at a mare that was pregnant and I loved her. I didn’t know anything about horses but I really wanted her. I remember during the day while the girls were in school sitting on the floor in the living room and looking out the back sliding glass door. It must have been in the fall because the air was still warm with a little crispness to it and the sky was real blue with white puffy clouds.
I closed my eyes to pray and get quiet and ask for this horse. I pray in the spirit and remembered how deep the prayer was and how much in earnest I wanted this horse. While my eyes were closed it was like a dream or vision I had.
I was a little girl and my daddy was holding my hand. I never saw his face only knew he was next to me and holding my hand. We went into a toy store and I was so excited. There were shelves and shelves of toys. At eye level I picked a horse and wanted it so bad and tugging on his hand and pleading for that toy horse.
He said, “No” and I was so upset and getting myself so worked up. When all of a sudden I saw him reach up high and hand me a toy horse that was so beautiful ― more magnificent than I ever dreamed. I couldn’t see it because I wasn’t that tall.
The remembering of how that felt helped me to understand and be patient. What we see may not be what we really want if we were able to see all the choices we have. I learned to trust in my daddy ― in a source that can see and understand more than I can right now.
That dream or vision eased my earnest praying for that mare that I wanted so bad. She might not have been a bad choice just not the best choice for us. Not long after that, we got Spring Star and still have her and she truly has been good for our family.
We had Spring Star for over 30 years and finally lost her in 2011. She definitely was the best choice for our family and we learned many things never having owned horses. The care and responsibility that goes into taking care of such a noble creature I never would have experienced had it not been for her. It changed things in what our children saw and experienced and became a major part of our lives.
In rereading this, my first thought was critical in thinking how selfish I was, when there are people praying for things far more serious and important than mine. But when I softened with more compassion for myself, I could see another gem to the story and that was, “I was heard and it mattered to let me know.”
Too many times I’ve felt insignificant, like a small fish in a big pond. How can what I say or what I want be acknowledged when there are far too many important issues and people asking for help? But, I was answered and it mattered not by what I did or the urgency but just by the pure fact of being loved. It warms my heart in remembering this event and the tender words of an old hymn I once listened to as a child.
“His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me.”
Pat from the ol’ kitchen table
I loved your story. I can see how my story would prompt a memory. It’s so true, what we ask for may not be the best choice for us. Listening for guidance, not an answer, is truly the key. Morning Star was your answer where the other wasn’t. 🙂
Thank you, Susan, for inspiring me to write this story. I’m so happy you enjoyed it — that means a lot. You’re right on what we ask for may not be the best choice only because we don’t have all the information and can only see a small portion, like with me at eye level. Spring Star certainly was our best choice and we got to enjoy her for many years. We had a lot of good memories with her. 🙂
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Pat, what a lovely memory and I am glad you saw how hard you were on yourself. There was one time that I prayed like no other. It was the end of 1986 and 1987. I was a single mother having gotten away from and abusive man and also my oldest’s father. I thought things were going well. In April I made the decision my son would be my only child and I would return to school. I enrolled in school and days later found myself in a doctors office hearing the news I had cancer. By September I celebrated my sons second birthday fearing it would be the last I would ever be there for. By October I learned I was pregnant. I decided to risk my life and try to have my baby which ment all treatments had to stop. I also had to find a way to protect my first child from ending up with his abusive father should I not make it. I prayed to live to see my children grow up and be able to protect them. Since I’m still here my prayers were answered. My baby was born healthy and string. Both my sons are adults with their own families and I was given the best gift ever, time to see who they would grow to become.
Oh man, Lois, what an inspiring and compelling story. I am so proud of you and your courage on so many facets. Wow! Wow! Wow! Your story is a true testimony of the power of love and faith. It brought tears to my eyes. I am so glad your prayers were answered and that you’re still with us. God bless you my dear friend.
Since everyone’s journey and life lessons, are different, your wish was just a small part of your bigger picture. That’s what I have to say. 🙂
Hi Gerri – thank you for stopping by and commenting. They are different journeys and life lessons for everyone, that’s for sure. You’re right in that I can only see a small portion of the big picture and it continues to this day. Trust plays a big part not just with wanting a horse but in how I live my life and the decisions I make. Maybe, in the sharing of my journey, as it unfolds one step at a time, we can find the bits and pieces of what we have in common and connect. That’s my hope. 🙂
That sounds nice. I’m sure we have at least one thing in common!
Thank you, Gerri. Me, too, in having at least one thing in common. I hope to connect with you again and find out. 🙂
Thanks for sharing this Pat, I loved to read your journal entry and the ways that what you thought you wanted, weren’t exactly what was right for you in the end! I think all of our wants are important, whether big or small, because there is a reason we want them – it might be to teach us something or because it will make our life better in some way that will make us evolve as people – I’ve no doubt you learned a lot from Spring Star and that somehow helped your journey 🙂
Thank you, Andrea, I’m glad you enjoyed it. I agree the things we want are important not just in what it is but how we feel and what’s going on with us on the inside. Seems like we’re on this grand adventure through life always exploring — always learning. A lot of times we don’t even realize the lessons until much later. Yes, we did had some good times with Spring Star — sweet memories and stories we could share around the kitchen table. 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing this precious and beautiful story from your earlier life Pat. I can really relate to wanting something so badly and then praying about it. How your dream came to you and showed you its truth is just beautiful, how your daddy got you a better horse which you couldn’t see from your perspective. So often we think we know what’s best but God knows the bigger picture. I remember reading about our life being like a tapestry – we see all the loose threads hanging down at the back of it and don’t know where they all fit but God sees the tapestry from the front, the finished, perfect design.
I loved your family photos of your beautiful daughters and Spring Star. My brother and sister-in-law have horses and I know they have learnt a great deal from them, not least of all, my brother’s horse has helped him recover from M.E. (Chronic Fatigue).
Your story illustrates how God uses these experiences to show us how much he cares for us and He certainly did that for you and what a beautiful hymn.
Oh Pat, I wish I could give you a huge hug right now. You matter to so many, you are a beautiful lady inside and out and a beautiful light and spirit. I’m honoured to have shared in this part of your life, thank you, my dear friend <3
Awhh, Sherri. This is why I love sharing and love you for your dear, kind words. I can feel your hug from across the pond, my friend. Huggin’ you back.
I’m glad you enjoyed the read and could relate in so many ways and I’m happy you liked the photos. They were good times. Like us, I’m sure your brother and sister-in-law would have many horse stories they could tell. They are beautiful, noble creatures and they bring such a special awareness and energy into your life when you’re around them. They read your souls.
It is amazing the things that show up in our lives that teach and instruct us along this journey. That’s the beauty of it. We never know what it’s going to look like and may not get the full understanding of it until many years later. It isn’t boring that’s for sure. 🙂
Another beautiful story Pat with a happy ending. I have never owned a horse but I have always admired their great spirit. God hears our prayers and like you said, they aren’t always answered in the way we anticipate. I learned a long time ago to be careful about what you pray for because prayer, when it comes from the heart, is powerful.
Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it, Bev. I know, until you get closer to horses, you don’t realize the incredible presence they command. Their spirit is so genuine and they have the ability to reach right down in your heart. There’s no pretending with them
With regard to answers to prayers, I’m getting better at choosing carefully what I pray for. I’m even getting better at what I say and think, too, as that also reflects back on me.
That is a beautiful story with several great messages. So wonderful to get that sign and learn patience and trust. What a wonderful outcome getting Spring Starr. Love the photos.
Hi Irene – I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you. It means a lot when you take time to stop by and leave a comment. It’s always nice to see your happy face. 🙂
It was a wonderful message I got in answer to a prayer. Not exactly what I wanted to receive at the time, as I can get pretty stubborn and set on something when I want it bad enough. I guess it took more drastic measures to get through to me, as it got my attention that’s for sure.
The answer was definitely the right choice as Spring Star came into our lives and was perfect for our family. I’m glad you enjoyed the photos. It warmed my heart all over again in going through and picking them out for the post.
I did enjoy it Pat. One day I will be a more regular visitor as I do enjoy your memories. I agree that sorting through the photos is a delicious way of returning to special times. 🙂
I’m glad, Irene, that you enjoyed it and I know what you mean with regard to being a more regular visitor. I lean that way myself, too, even with having more time on my hands these days. Life just has a way of getting away from me as I drift along enjoying each day as it unfolds. I like how you put sorting through old photos — “a delicious way of returning to special times.” I’ll have to remember that as it certainly captures the way I feel. 🙂
Such an amazing story, Pat and what truly great insights you learned from that. Sometimes we think we know what we want but if we take the courage to dig deeper and honestly explore what’s behind those desires we pretty much discover it’s often a longing for something else, that extends beyond the physical world. That doesn’t mean we can’t have physical needs of course, we all have them and it’s just plain natural. I do believe our prayers and wishes are answered but like said before in the comment’s thread, maybe not always in the form or way ‘we’ would like them to be – or even on the time schedule we’d anticipated. LoL.. a challenging one and I’m so right in the middle of this process. Be careful what you wish for, cause some dreams do come true! and yours happened to be just right for you 🙂
Hi Karin – thank you for stopping by. I’m glad you enjoyed the story and could relate to it in what you’re going through. You’re right in getting insights and what we learn when we have the courage to dig deeper. It doesn’t always turn out the way we think. Maybe, because we’re focused only on what we think we see but in reality there’s more to it. That became pretty clear to me in what I was shone. I’m glad I got the message and didn’t push forward on it. It might have been a lot of heartache in the long run. 🙂