In the midst of confusion and chaos, hectic schedules (just writing these things stirs up stress) you can feel peace fading. But, isn’t that what our days look like. Add onto those things normal life issues of losing a loved one or a job and the stress can be unbearable. How in the midst of all this do we find PEACE – how do we walk on the water in the storm?

1. STOP AND BREATHE
Our whole bodies tense up when we’re stressed. Our minds flood with thoughts of “what if this” or “what if that” and if we don’t stop and take control of it we could be taken over. If you’re in a situation like that, just stop whatever you’re doing and close your eyes and take some deep breaths in and out, slowly. Almost immediately you can feel a sense of inner PEACE come over you and your mind begins to clear.

2. MEDITATE – PRAY
Quieting ourselves is one of the last things we want to do when our lives are turned upside down. We want to get out there and make things happen. We want to see results. But taking time to connect to our Source is important especially when there is unrest and disturbance. The practice of prayer and meditation gives us a point of origin. It centers us and helps put us back on track with an assurance that we’re not alone. It gives us PEACE.

3. CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS AND FOCUS ON SOMETHING POSITIVE
Sometimes when our thoughts get going it’s like a boulder coming down a mountain. If they’re allowed to run their course they take over. Find a passage that gives you peace and let’s you know you’re loved. Keep it in front of you saying it over and over like a mantra. Keep your environment positive surrounding yourself with positive people, music and information. Take charge of your thoughts and allow them only to bring you PEACE and let them transform your situation, your life.

4. TAKE YOURSELF OUT OF THE SITUATION – IF ONLY FOR A MOMENT
If you feel your situation is dragging you down, change the scenery. Go for a walk or a drive. Get out in the fresh air and breathe. Get involved doing something and before you know it the drama of the situation will have lifted and you feel hope and PEACE trickling in.

5. ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
In the middle of dismay and confusion, decide to focus on the things you’re grateful for and feel it in your heart. Continue to picture and remember all the times when you championed rough times and came out on top. Look at the little things you have been blessed with and the big things. Take a look around and consider who you are and all those you have in your life. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Ahh, there’s the PEACE.

PEACE is available to us all the time. It’s there and we can choose to see it and feel it and put it in the middle of our lives whether things are going well or they’re not. When you feel it’s missing take time to recapture its essence and beauty. It’s a gift for all of us.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

From the kitchen table – Pat
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Recently, Harry (aka Bigjohnbird) and I stumbled across each other on StumbleUpon and because we had a mutual interest in Scotland we struck up an e-mail conversation. On one of the pages of his favorites, I noticed a story he had written and asked if I could use it in writing a post. I wanted to talk about words and how they’re conveyed and expressed. They make a difference in the perceptions of our truth and how we present ourselves to one another and to the world.

Here it is:

-posted by harry aka Bigjohnbird on Feb 11, 2008 (on StumbleUpon)

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: “I am blind, please help.” There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, “Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?”

The man said, “I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.”

What he had written was: “Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.”

Both signs told people the boy was blind. While the first sign simply said the boy was blind, the second sign pointed the fortunate ones to their positive possibilities.

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively. Invite the people towards good with wisdom.

This little story says so much in the importance of how we present ourselves, what we say and how we say it in order to get our message across effectively. It’s not just in our writing; it’s in everyday life in how we share with others our truth – what we’re all about. This man showed the blind boy how to state what he needed in a way that included the people walking by. They can’t relate to him in what it’s like to be blind but they can see the beautiful day. The words were simply and beautifully rewritten in a way as to join not separate.

There’s another point to think about in the importance of how our words are relayed and perceived. I think what’s confusing for us is that sometimes the words we read or hear don’t match what we see in body language; or the essence of what is supposed to be coming across in writing doesn’t match the words – it’s all jumbled up. For some reason, we hold back and stop the energy flowing from our true selves. We don’t fully tell the story of what’s going on, there’s a piece reserved. You don’t get that message from Stephen and Phil in using words to connect and inspire. In his latest post and interview with Phil Gerbyshak, Stephen Hopson who writes for the Adversity University blog expressed it perfectly when he said, “I don’t have the exact words for this, but something magical takes place when we dedicate ourselves to make the connection with others and in the process close the gap that society places upon us. Somehow when we see those gaps narrow, even a little bit, we feel uplifted. We feel like we matter. We feel like we’re actually making a difference. Yes, that’s what I’m trying to say. We want to feel as if what we are doing is making an impact not only on others but also on ourselves.”

Last Sunday, on a TV show called Sunday Morning we watched a piece on this new, young conductor of the Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra, Gustavo Dudamel, a native of Venezuela. What came across the screen was someone with passion and life, not holding anything back with how he communed with the music, and through his conducting you could feel what he was feeling. The power and expression of his conducting connected everyone to the music.

So, what is this story telling us along with being kind and lending a hand? It’s telling us that our words are an extension of our truth and that there are many ways to share them and use them to engage others. Be fully expressive of who you are and not hold back, even a little, in letting the world know what you’re about and how you want to engage and connect to them.

From the kitchen table – Pat
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This past week, I’ve read so many blogs with examples of how people deal with adversity and shine. Going through a bit of adversity myself at present, it has been a source of inspiration and hope in seeing how people face
adversity and walk through the fire overcoming what appears to be insurmountable odds. My challenges are in no way as great as what some of these people have faced and yet I can understand, being in the middle of it, what has to be done to keep going otherwise it will consume you.

If you’re alive, you have already been introduced in some way to adversity. It comes with the territory. From the moment you’re first born your body triggers the need to eat and you don’t get your nutrition the same way you used to through the bloodstream. Now, you have to cry for it as it doesn’t come automatically. But eventually, you learn how this works and you eventually get good at it and you get your milk.

Adversity, though it may be difficult and uncomfortable at best, can be a tool that teaches us how to operate in this world as spiritual beings having a physical body and through trial and error we learn what works. We can resist and have our temper tantrums but eventually through all of it we become our best – we become the pearl. Here are some of the pearls that are shining through adversity or have overcome it:

1. COURAGE
I can’t imagine being faced with a life-threatening disease and yet so many of you out there are doing just that with a positive attitude and a smile on your face. You’re asking us how we are and comforting us. Your light shines bright through adversity and you’ve been given divine assistance to carry your purpose through to help all of us. I watch Randy Pausch (see a previous post Passion and Enthusiasm, who has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, encouraging us with the Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams lecture noted to be his last lecture at Carnegie Mellon and giving regular updates on how he’s doing on his site. Randy’s conviction to live fully with love and passion is a true reminder of what is important and he doesn’t stop there. He points us to someone who has inspired him and no doubt given him courage to face his own adversity: Jim Valvano, a professional basketball coach giving his reception speech for the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the 1993 ESPY’s. Our attitudes sustain us through difficulties. If you want to feel sorry for yourself you can only do that for awhile as it never changes anything. What these people have shown and are showing us is courage to walk-the-walk and talk-the-talk in whatever cards they’re dealt in this life and to help others in the process.

2. FOCUS
Marc Allen in The Greatest Secret of All-Moving Beyond Abundance to a Life of True Fulfillment shares how he took a difficult time in his life and envisioned an Ideal (Scene) Life (see a previous post on Ideal Scene and Goal Setting). He wrote down in detail what that life would look like in 5 years. He not only envisioned this life but aligned himself with the feelings as if his Ideal Life was present. He then wrote out his goals and how he would accomplish them. He kept this Ideal Life as a focus as he met each difficulty and struggled with the self-doubts. He had a focus and purpose and kept on task working through each obstacle. I remember one powerful little phrase he used over and over that he got from a book he had read by Catherine Ponder on the power of affirmations: “….in an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way – repeated thousands of times, overcame a lot of those doubts and fears.” In meditation and throughout the day I repeat this phrase and use it to fit my situation. To intend to focus on what you want, feel it and replace those thoughts that threaten your well being with affirmations is powerful.

3. TAKE ACTION
Patricia Singleton in her last post in Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker talks about her personal situation overcoming abuse. I admire and honor her for deciding when she had had enough and took action to better her life. She decided to no longer continue subjecting herself to others who were harmful and did not have her best interest at heart, even when they were the very ones in charge of her care. Our hearts tell us when the time is right and we have to not only listen but act. Sometimes, it’s immediate action we need to take as in Patricia’s case and other times it’s more subtle. A lot of times we just settle and live with the situation but in order to see any improvement or change taking action is part of overcoming adversity.

4. GRATITUDE AND HUMILITY
Adversity makes us most vulnerable especially at times when we don’t know the outcome. Alex Blackwell wrote a recent article in his The Next 45 Years blog sharing a personal incident with his wife’s surgery. We wait and watch in this moment of adversity and wonder if this time it won. We draw on our resources and on the things we’ve been taught and have practiced and it’s when we finally realize the preciousness of life that new hope arises. Our hearts fill with gratitude for those we love and the little things they do and we’re humbled with how fast things can change in the blink of an eye. To be gracious of the circumstances at hand and turn them over to a higher power and thankful for being blessed carry us through the unknown side of adversity.

5. POSITIVE ATTITUDE
How many times have you heard the nay-sayers say, “You can’t do that!”? I know I’ve heard it. They’re out there ready to jump on the first thing when you slip. But it’s how you react and what you decide to believe about yourself that pushes through adversity, even when you’re the only one believing it. How many things exist in our world today because someone listened to their inner voice instead of popular opinion? Stephen Hopson has a blog called Adversity University where he shares his own personal stories of adversity being deaf and pursuing a public speaker career. He also includes interviews with others who have also overcome adversity – one is coming up soon with Phil Gerbyshak with his own personal story holding onto the thought – I think I can…I know I can…

6. DON’T GIVE UP
When we’re in the middle of these adversities we can be taken off balance and if we’re not conscious go into a tailspin. Thoughts, nay-sayers, evidence, fear all seem to be on the same team predicting your demise. And then, an article comes along that lifts you up and encourages reminding you that the universe always supports you gently shedding light on the limited beliefs you’ve been acting on. Nicholas Powiull in his post says, “The universe by design takes care of us, the more alignment we are with our highest joy in each moment, the easier, and more rapidly, the universe can do its job. When you think you have to push, bend, mold, and oblige things in place with force then you are missing the greatest opportunity of life.” He goes on to say, “If you want negative situations to discontinue then you must be okay with the fact that they will NEVER EVER STOP.”

The point is to not give up even in the midst of adversity. Know we are supported by a great invisible team ready to go to work on our behalf. But it’s up to us in how we respond and where we put our energy. Be determined to see it through to the end using all of your resources.

As Dale Carnegie said, “Most of the important things in the world have been accompanied by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”

I was recently reminded of a quote I once read from Henry David Thoreau on a site called Heron Dance. It sparked something in me that I needed to share. I’m not quite sure at this writing what that is and ask you to join me in this adventure of being led to do something but not knowing the outcome. It happens that way sometimes.

The quote (taken from A Pause for Beauty (#238) – The Heron Dance E-Newsletter – Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) – from Walden, excerpted in Thoreau and the Art of Life) is:

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings.”

As I sit here looking at this quote, I wonder about my life and if I’ve moved in the direction of my dreams. I believe I have, maybe not as confidently as I would have liked. I’ve been a work in progress and still am. But my life reflects what’s been important to me and that is the love of family and to have a living, growing, spiritual relationship with my Creator (no particular order here). This has taken me down many paths and I’m sure there will be many more paths before it’s all said and done. I can imagine you writing your own dream stories, as you look at this quote, and what directions you took to arrive there and the successes you had unexpected in common hours.

As I’m writing this, I’m getting a better understanding of my life and why I had to take the path that I did. As I see it, earlier I had to learn about family and establish that for myself. I grew up in a dysfunctional family, which I believe most families do in one form or another. My parents were not abusive or drug or alcohol addicts. They just had their own personal relationship problems and jealousy issues and while they were in the midst of their challenges, which was most of the time, my sister and I felt cut out, excluded. There was very little peace or family unity. It was as if my parents were in a world of their own unconscious of anyone else around. There always appeared to be a black cloud hanging over our home and the energy was gloomy and heavy.

I didn’t know it then but, as a result, I had to find my own family and the give and take of love. I don’t remember having this kind of love as a child and through the weaves and turns down this path the stages of discovery left me sometimes more confused (see my post My Time to Trust – Again!). I felt disconnected with a hole in my soul. In the earlier stages of my youth, I realized I had an invisible friend who was always there. I later learned to put a name to that friend – God. This made me feel complete until I began to hear people tell me how you have to believe or else and what they said didn’t match the feeling I had for my invisible friend. As I got older and observing the expectations of the world, I tried to comply with teachings of hell, fire and brimstone but it never quite felt right. I missed my friend. Supernaturally, He would come into a dream or I’d hear His voice in prayer but another connection was broken – by me. As I got older and fell in love, this relationship was a part of the answer to reconnecting and filling the hole in my soul. When the children came, I felt so much more complete than I had ever felt – almost, but still not quite there. My husband and children fulfilled the love I needed to find what I had looked for so long but there was still some need to connect.

Now, in the second half of my life with the extended joy of family love and grandchildren (see my post Making Memories), I have advanced confidently in the direction of my dreams and endeavored to live the life I have imagined. But there’s more. Now, I will meet with a success unexpected in common hours, as I continue down this path learning to connect to me (see previous post Who Am I – Be True to Yourself) for there is my invisible friend as I once knew as a child, pure and innocent. He was there all the time and as I learn I will put old beliefs that no longer serve me behind and pass an invisible boundary. As I continue to learn to live connected in every way to God, myself, everyone and everything, I will live with a license of a higher order of beings.

I love Thoreau’s reflective thoughts and the messages that deeply speak to me. I thank you for taking this adventure of discovery with me. I hope you can see the journey you have been on and realize that it’s all perfect and that you’re never alone. In Jeremiah 29:11, it says:

“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Check Out These Books to Read – Henry David Thoreau:
On the Duty of Civil Disobedience – Thoreau’s Classic Essay (Paperback) by Henry David Thoreau
Henry David Thoreau: Three Complete Books: The Maine Woods, Walden, Cape Cod by Henry David Thoreau
Walden by Henry David Thoreau, Introduction by William O. Douglas. Time-Life. 1962 by Henry David Thoreau and William O. Douglas
Walden, and Other Writings of Henry David Thoreau by Henry David Thoreau and Brooks Atkinson

Additional Information on Thoreau:
Online Literature – Thoreau
Biography of Henry David Thoreau – American Transcendental Web
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
Image Results of Henry David Thoreau
The Thoreau Reader

From the kitchen table – Pat
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