I’ve written and rewritten this article a couple of times now trying to find meaning to words in my head and heart with regard to last Friday morning’s shootings in Aurora, Colorado, just a few miles from my daughter’s home. A lot has been reported and written and I don’t want to rehash it.
It’s almost a full week since the shootings and the media moves on to current news and people begin to pick up the pieces of their lives. Some pick up where it left off and others face life decisions they never thought they would have to make alone.
My heart breaks and soul aches for those touched by this incident and I struggle with how to express words of hope and encouragement.
I don’t pretend to know what people are experiencing or feeling. I only want to share from personal loss and trust it will in some small way bring comfort.
Something has happened snatching us out of our daily routines and we didn’t ask for it. For the most part, we can get along just fine taking care of business – going to work or school, showering, eating, playing, sleeping – and then something yanks the emergency brake and we tumble and crash. Everything is upside down and we say, “What the hell?”, if we’re able, trying to make sense of it – only there’s no making sense.
Then something else happens, we try to stand and gain solid ground. We’re suddenly flooded with emotions and can no longer control the tears and pain in our chest. Our body is out of control and we feel like our gut is turned inside out. Something is going on only I don’t know what.
It’s no wonder in times like these we turn to an unseen force seeking help – something beyond the body and mind because that’s not working the way it used to. Our hearts cry out – perhaps “calling all angels” – and connect us to our spirit. Now, this is out of the norm but there’s comfort – a peace and deep rest if only for a couple of hours.
The only problem is when I open my eyes I remember – it isn’t a dream. It didn’t go away and it starts all over again. This is the beginning of healing – one breath, one moment at a time. We’re in touch with a part of ourselves we never knew existed, connected to a different dimension and it’s overwhelming.
This is life – all its working parts. Pain brought us to a depth of our soul, though we don’t want to arrive that way. Our spirit forces us to feel things we don’t want to feel. Our senses are opened and introduced to something beyond daily routines. Can we dare to hope again – hope that our loved ones aren’t lost forever?
Can we begin to look through this ache and pain at good things that have come out of this – is there more happening on a bigger scale beyond what I can see?
- People genuinely loving, comforting one another with value: young and old women, men and children, professional athletes, business, hospital and medical professionals, military, police and fire men and women, FBI, elected officials, clergy, a president and Batman actor.
- Heroes emerged giving their lives for loved ones and fellow human beings.
- Hugo Jackson, born to the Medley family, is awaiting his father Caleb’s recovery from critical gunshot wounds.
Life struggles to go on and yet it’s changed. None of this can really be explained to everyone’s satisfaction and debates go on forever. As a victim’s girlfriend put it (paraphrased), “He gave his life for me but I don’t know how to live it.”
We begin to take a step forward and we’ll fall down. But we’ll get up with more strength and determination with the help of others to make a difference and not take this life for granted.
The real truth can only be found in the depths of our hearts but for now we can rest “in the arms of an angel” and hold on to the good things remembered. What are you feeling today? Please share.
Pat – from the ol’ kitchen table
(YouTube video – Jane Siberry and KD Lang singing “Calling All Angels”)
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