Entitlement

Posted on September 13, 2012 by Pat

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“I want my money…and I want it now!” How many times have you heard that shouted on TV commercials?

I got to thinking about entitlement last weekend and how many times it shows up in our everyday lives as we make our way through the commercialism and hype.

We have to shout louder or push harder to feel heard or get noticed over the rest.

It’s like a feeding frenzy of newborn puppies or a caller on the floor at the New York Stock Exchange shouting the latest trade. The one who pushes the hardest or loudest gets what they want.

When did it get to where more is expected and less offered? And have we been driven so much as overachievers in a competitive, instant gratifying world that we no longer notice how the attitude of entitlement shows up in our personal lives.

Today, we have so much commercialism thrown at us it’s no wonder we feel as if we should get what we want especially with the ease of purchase and credit. The system is set up so we can buy just about anything with entitlement as the driver byproduct of that commercialism and materialism as I see it.

But where is the value? I think we put too much value on material things instead of values earned like a job well done, difficult problem resolved or respect gained from co-workers.

Like many, I get irritated if something doesn’t respond immediately or I can’t find what I want with all the choices I have. I too make demands here and there. It’s no wonder I see a reflection of that entitlement in myself, those around me and our children.

We’re doing what we need to do to function in this world and how it operates. It’s been set up for that. Praise and prestigious promotions are expected for every little effort and our children get ‘participation’ ribbons in field-day events instead of 1^st, 2^nd or 3^rd – robbed of the opportunity to see how they measure up and how they can improve.

Being with our grandsons last weekend I noticed the contrast between myself when I was the grandchild and today the adult. It seems harder to be a kid today – (heck) it’s hard to be an adult.

“Was it better then or now?” In either case, the world was different and the culture that goes with it. We, as adults, and our children have to learn how to function in the world as it is. That’s a fact.

But when I look at our children and their expectations, demands – entitlement – I wonder if we’re expecting too much of the wrong things from our new generation given the culture and how it functions? What are we doing to them and ourselves?

I find it hard to believe that kids would get bored more often today than they used to with all the technology, toys, video games and media available these days. But they do. I heard it several times last weekend, “Grandma, I’m bored!”

As usual when I reflect on a different time passed it is so different when compared to now. When I was a little girl, I adored my grandmother and to this day I still miss her. I remember I couldn’t stand to have her mad or disappointed in me and she didn’t treat me any more special than the others. I could be just as big a brat as anyone else and really good at pouring on the “poor me” act.

I know and still feel that love from her and my grandfather and wonder what it takes to love like that – what is required? They certainly didn’t give me a lot of toys or games. They didn’t have very much money and it wasn’t the places they took me.

My sister, cousins and I were just happy to be with them – the whole summer. That’s unheard of today – seven grandkids (7) staying with grandparents from the day school let out in June to Labor Day in September with no toys or video games.

What’s wonderful not only about children but regular adults as well is the magic and power of imagination and pretending not another big screen TV or video game. It’s like when you made mud pies in the backyard instead of making them in a fully equipped mini-kitchen with pretend microwaves.

That was the magic with my grandmother. She got down on the floor with us and played. She redirected our boredom with fun and imagination and gave us a part of herself. My grandfather likewise would hook a fish head on our line and sinker and take us crabbing in his skiff.

As an adult, I see the results of entitlement everywhere including the spiritual circles with the “law of attraction”. Entitlement is not a bad thing – it’s just taken out of context and given more value than it’s worth along with the hype of commercialism and materialism.

We just have to see it for what it is and redirect it with the magic of imagination and creativity – then do something, have fun and go play instead of asking for another car.

Pat – from the ol’ kitchen table ~~ Put a smile on my face and leave a comment or question!

11:11 – Eleven-Eleven

Posted on September 7, 2012 by Pat

Photo by Pat Ruppel

11:11 – For years I’ve seen this and when I do it always catches my attention for a moment and I stop whatever I’m doing.

I don’t know why – it just looks like 4 toothpicks standing next to each other.

There are 11 other numbers on the clock this happens with, twice a day, but this number is the one that resonates with me.

It’s similar to one of those experiences a friend and co-worker once shared with me. She said when her father was alive he would pick up coins when he saw them lying on the ground. After he passed, she started seeing dimes everywhere and when she saw a dime, it would quicken her heart and she’d remember her dad.

To me, 11:11 is a quickening of the heart, a reminder of a connection I have to something beyond what I can see or comprehend. That heart quickening seems to be happening more these days, not only to me but for others as well. Some are subtle, gentle tugs while others boom so loud your heart jumps.

I remember years ago we went tent camping in the mountains. Early in the morning, while it was still dark, I had to go and do my business. I unzipped the flap to quietly step out and not awaken the others and what I saw overwhelmed me. The sky was lit with stars – so bright and so many. I had never seen that before. It gripped my heart and caught me by surprise so much I think I forgot I had to go to the bathroom. They were like a blanket over my head so close I felt I could almost touch them.

I don’t know why I was so stunned and “heebie-jeebie” scared – others may have found it comforting and serene. But to me the phenomenon was as if I had seen a ghost. I was immediately humbled and the presence of God was so close, vivid and real. I can still feel the power of that experience.

Believe me I know how this sounds – a little “woo-woo” and farfetched. I would probably be one of the first to ask, “Have you lost your crackers?” But because I have seen too many things I haven’t been able to explain I’ve learned to ignore the questions and doubts and just feel the connection.

I read a few years ago that 11:11 is a reminder of the mission we signed up for before we were born. I haven’t figured out what that mission is yet but lately I’ve seen it more often.

For now, when I see 11:11, I remember that I’m connected to something grander than what I know. Whatever I may face in this life or have to work through I believe there’s a plan. I may not have all the pieces so I can understand but I trust in the orchestration of it all.

Pat – from the ol’ kitchen table

Blue Moon

Posted on August 31, 2012 by Pat

There’s a Blue Moon tonight meaning it’s the second full moon in a calendar month – this month being August. It’s bright, full, eerie and majestic as it hangs there in the sky.

While typically it is rare that the second full moon would be blue in color certain unusual particles of dust or smoke in the atmosphere can create them. Folklore has it that the name Blue Moon originated as a saying for when there are more full moons in a month than ordinary.

It is hard to believe on the same day of this month’s second full moon a National iconic legend, the first man who set foot on the moon, Neil Armstrong, was laid to rest – almost in tribute to a humble hero.

He commanded the Apollo 11 historic moon landing on July 20, 1969 and said as he stepped on the lunar surface, “That’s one small step for a man, a giant leap for mankind.” It’s been over 43 years ago and no other event has been more gripping and proud than watching a human walk on another planet. It hasn’t happened since nor been pursued.

Tonight’s Blue Moon is beautiful to watch rising in the sky, a pale yellow, as it first appears on the horizon. It seems so large and close at first and brightens the higher it gets lighting up the ground as if it’s day.

I can’t think of a more fitting salute to Commander Armstrong than the heavens escorting him to the other side with the rise of a Blue Moon.

Pat – from the ol’ kitchen table

Capturing the Moment

Posted on August 28, 2012 by Pat

Photo by Pat Ruppel – Evergreen Lake House

The mountains and lake were beautiful this morning at Evergreen Lake – I wanted to breathe it all in and hold onto it – not let it fade. I’ve been at the lake often but in looking around this time I was particularly captured at how life seemed to jump out at me – offering itself. Life really is a dance.

It was my first Tai Chi class. My husband had practiced the art many years ago but I know very little about it. What I wasn’t prepared for was my experience.

I’m told by those who practice Tai Chi it balances your life when connected to the life force – chi. For those not having a clue to what that means (believe me I’ve been there) it is something similar to being ‘in the zone’.

I felt awkward not knowing the movements or flow. It was like the first time I stepped out on a dance floor stumbling and moving one way while everyone else moved the opposite. As I watched and tried to repeat the steps I felt totally out of sync and overwhelmed. My brain tried to process one thing and my body something else.

A third of the way through the class, we stopped for further instruction and I noticed this ‘weird’ feeling in my hands. I’m familiar with energy work like acupuncture and Reiki but this was different. It wasn’t a soft, warm tingling sensation – it was a strong, swirling pulsating vibration in my hands. It scared me for a moment. I felt as if something had taken over my hands.

When I spoke up and mentioned that I felt a ‘weird’ feeling in my hands, the others seem to know exactly what it was. It was the connection of the chi energy force in my body.

It passed and we finished the class but yet I was somehow different. I noticed somewhere deep in my soul there was a shift – something had changed. Just this morning I was thinking about a topic to write similar to this experience but from a different perspective.

I had thought about how fleeting things are in life and how we can’t seem to ever hold onto the satisfaction of it. It started with the alarm going off to get ready for this class.

It’s only been a short while since I was in the routine of getting up by the alarm every morning to get ready for work. At the time, I was happy with that routine but noticed how the grind took a toll and much effort to maintain.

Now, I’m home, a free spirit with no routine – stay up until the wee hours of the morning and sleep in. But notice no routine also takes a toll and I’ve gained weight and my body is getting lazy and sluggish. I thought, “Isn’t there a happy medium where one can flow with life and not work so hard at it?” “And, when a perfect moment is captured why can’t we hold it?”

You know those moments when life is full and there’s nowhere else in the world you’d rather be. You want to soak it in and savor it. Spiritual writings say humans make life way too hard and complicated and that happiness is a natural state of being – every aspect of us is human, spirit and God.

I felt that today in the shift. I felt the peace and love of life flow through me and it has stuck. I still feel it and with excitement looking forward to the next moment – next adventure.

Pat – from the ol’ kitchen table

Scared of Letting Go

Posted on August 23, 2012 by Pat

Do you remember the movie “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” where he needs to cross a great precipice as the last of 3 challenges given him? He takes a leap of faith stepping over a cliff in space onto what seems to appear an invisible bridge. I’ve often wondered what it takes to let go like that. Where does the courage come from? How can you know?

When I first saw that movie years ago, I remembered thinking, “No, I don’t think I could ever do that!” I still don’t think I could and yet there are times in our lives when not taking the leap is more life threatening than we realize. That is explained better is this wonderful little story called “The Rope” where letting go was just too hard to do.

Aren’t we faced with similar risky decisions every day – of course, not as dramatic or life threatening – but decisions nonetheless that could very well reshape the course of our lives? But, it seems the majority of time we choose a path most familiar, comfortable with the least resistance. Never realizing how much more fulfilling and exciting our lives could be.

I think this is where I’m at in this stage of my life – reaching inside to find the courage to just let go of the rope. I’ve tried it in the past but was not as committed as I would like.

This time, circumstances have permitted and blessed me with the opportunity to take stock again of the priorities in my life. So I’ve started writing on this blog again and putting more personal stories out there. This is my latest leap.

I remember years ago at a major employer’s I was given the opportunity to create and pilot a workshop series for co-workers. I felt then too like I was taking a huge leap especially in the corporate world. I was scared to death.

The pilot was called “Wisdom for the Ages” and its purpose was to connect to one another on a more personal level by sharing via a talking stick on specific topics (i.e. trust, leadership, attitude, harmony). All were invited no matter the position to 4 one-hour workshops. I would ask questions, play tapes and read poems expanding on the topic.

I know it sounds corny and that is what was scary – just presenting this in a corporate environment. I really didn’t know what I was doing and always squirmed at getting up in front of groups to give a talk.

But here I was taking the leap with the gut feeling that there must be a way to get to know co-workers more with the length of time we spend at work every day. Maybe if we knew each other better there would be more understanding, collaboration and sensitivity to each other’s feelings. We would have a better feel for where our co-workers are coming from.

I remember coming out of a supervisors’ meeting after giving an overview of the workshop and thinking, “What! Was I crazy?” “What do I think I’m doing – poems for crying out loud and a talking stick?” I ducked in a small conference room to gather myself before going back to my desk and cried. I was really out of my element. I called my husband and he calmed me down saying, “It doesn’t matter what is thought – it doesn’t change what it is.”

I regrouped and went back to my desk and noticed that the supervisors’ meeting let out with everyone going back to their desk. One of the supervisors passed my desk and stopped to thank me for the overview. She said it took everything within her power to hold back the tears when I read the poem as she had been dealing with the emotional strain of her mother dying. It reminded her how important life is even when working.

She hugged me with tears still in her eyes and all the fear I felt and frustration melted with the feeling in my heart I had connected in a way I had wanted in starting this pilot. It was worth it.

I’m scared now wondering if I can connect in that same way again but with writing and e-books or should I do as I had done before – give into the fear, not commit and get back in the corporate world again before too much time has lapsed.

We all feel it when we’re faced with challenges of the unknown – some more serious than others. But if you’re scared to make a life change – moving out, going back to school, or even quitting your job and traveling the world – listen closely to see if you hear a voice telling you, “let go of the rope” and take a chance. It may be the best thing in your life you’ve ever done.

Pat – from the ol’ kitchen table