New Beginnings – Changes ~~ to Live or Die

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“When one door closes another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”  ~~ Alexander Graham Bell

door ajar

Door Photo – © 2012 by Jim Ruppel

One thing I’ve begun to observe in these new beginnings – changes are that they come in many package forms.Like many of you who may be experiencing life changes swirling around, in and out as if out of control hardly able to catch our breath, the changes presented to us can be good and some not so good.

But I’m beginning to notice how they are different not whether they’re good or bad but what opportunities they can bring in growth and reflection even if the package appears not too appealing.

Nobody likes changes because we find ourselves out of our comfort zone and forced to face things we’d rather put off for another day. But if we choose to step back and take another view, changes can bring not only something new but they can bring freedom – a break away from the old – if you dare to embrace them.

Let me explain some of my personal new beginnings – changes I’ve been experiencing in the past year. Near the end of last year 2011, I was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor.  That will stop anybody in their tracks with all the emotions and thoughts flooding in at once.  I realized with the ebb and flow of life that there are things people can do for me and with me and there are other things ultimately only I can do for myself when it comes to my body.

I was blessed to have loved ones supporting me along with a fantastic doctor team and medical technology but they can’t physically take over the task at hand and make the decisions I was pressed to make whether I wanted to or not.  No procrastinating here.

I say that because of what my acupuncturist presented me with.  He told me that the universe gives us choices and presents each of us with crossroads throughout our lives and he felt this was a gift and that I was, indeed, at a crossroads – I could choose life or I could choose death and either choice would be okay.

At the time, all I could think and feel was “I’m tired – tired of beating the wind”.  But somewhere I must have made the choice to live because I started the radiation and chemo treatments and finished early November 2011 resulting with the tumor gone.  Before this went down I should have gotten a clue earlier last summer when we lost our 30-year old horse to colic not long after our son-in-law had an emergency health issue in which he almost lost his life.  Some big new beginnings and life catcher change packages not asked for but presented nonetheless and the universe finally got my attention.

A new year began and in March 2012 my youngest daughter had her second child.  What a thrill to have another baby in the family and I observed the adjustments this new life was bringing into her family – another new beginning – change package.

I’ve been working full time in the corporate world, like most of you.  But recently, at the end of April, that job took a turn and went out of state – another new beginning – change package.  What do I do now in my ‘golden years’?  When I took this job almost 4 years ago, I didn’t think I would enter the corporate world again.  Before then, I thought I would explore my passions and personal interests and see what I had to offer the world but because of money flow situations it played a big part in the decision of getting back in the corporate world and taking another full time position.

Another new beginning – change package came also in April in losing my husband’s 93-year old mother and very much a mother to me as well.  It’s a new beginning for her as well as for us realizing the emptiness left without her.  This was a hard one and always is when you lose someone you love no matter what age.  It brings up emotions you don’t want to feel and old-time questions we never seem to have answers for when someone dies.  At the same time it takes us out of this world for a moment to reflect on the preciousness of life and take a review of our priorities.

Finally, last month in May, I was sitting with family in Richey Stadium at Denver University watching my oldest grandson’s high school graduation ceremony – I remember that new beginning – life package when I graduated from high school so many years ago.  So many possibilities this graduation holds for him.  It’s a day you look forward to when you get a bigger taste of independence shifting the focus from school, friends and having fun to first glimpses of the future – scary.

If we live long enough, life seems to bring us around full circle back to where I’m at now still lingering at this new beginning – change package of what I’m going to be doing now. I feel like I’ve been given my life back and I want to find ways to make it fulfilling, valuable and helpful to others.  This will be my life beginning – change gift to you sharing my life stories whatever the package looks like with the hope you will be encouraged as we all make these journeys together on this big ball we call Earth.  You’re not out there alone loving, laughing, crying and praying.

Don’t ever allow yourself to think this is all there is and life is boring. When new beginnings – changes come, whether they appear difficult or exciting, pay close attention and welcome them with openness no matter how uncomfortable.  You may be at a crossroads about to discover the new found freedom you can have with the opportunities they present – something new and exciting never before dreamed. Let me know what new beginnings – changes you have in your life.  I’m interested in how it’s going for you.

“When you are inspired . . .
dormant forces, faculties, and talents become alive,
and you discover yourself to be a greater person
by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.” – Pantajali

Pat from the ol’ kitchen table

Fitting In – Cookie Cutter or Piece of Puzzle

I’m just beginning to realize in these 61 years that it’s a good thing when you don’t fit it. I have been trying all my life to be like others – or be accepted – and not stand out or appear to be different. But what’s important is if you have accepted yourself. When you truly have accepted who you are, there are no more struggles, no more fighting with the world. In fact, the world accepts who you are when you do. The Universe has already accepted who you are but for some reason we can’t accept that. That’s where the drama begins and don’t we seem to love drama?

I think that’s the lesson I’m learning in having returned to the corporate world, a year now, to be authentic and okay with who I am when it looks so different from anything I see around me. The key is that we all have something to contribute in our uniqueness. Who wants cookie-cutter people walking around talking and acting like everyone else? That doesn’t contribute – it doesn’t permit growth.

If we accept our uniqueness, like a piece of the puzzle, we add to the overall beauty of the picture when we settle in and feel comfortable with it. Then we can grow and expand along with everyone else’s individuality in the picture. We’re all a piece of the puzzle and we need every unique piece for it to be complete.

Here’s an example of uniqueness in the story of an ordinary phone salesman, Paul Potts, auditioning for a spot in the UK’s version of American Idol (previously included in one of my posts called Footprints). I love this story. It reminds me how inspiring we can be to one another when we truly accept who we are and act on it.

What I’ve been experiencing in the corporate world is more cookie cutter than uniqueness. The work ethic has appeared to have changed in that you can think independently if it doesn’t rock the boat and it’s not tolerated to ask questions that may challenge others’ work. I’ve been having difficulty with this given my old approach to fitting in and thinking independently. I think I have “pissed off” (if you can say that) everyone in my workplace and I really don’t know how other than ask if something is correct or not. It’s like everyone is walking on egg shells afraid to offend someone and you don’t know when you may have offended someone until the supervisor walks up and asks, “Why did you do that?”

Even in that, I can see all of our unique gifts and talents and I appreciate how differently people work these days. I just haven’t realized until now that I had been fighting who I am in this process trying desperately to fit in and it’s not going to happen and it shouldn’t. We all have our own contributions for the whole and it’s in respecting others’ perspectives and honoring ourselves that we move forward and grow adding to life’s picture.

So, when you feel friction in your home or at work ask yourself a few of these questions:

~ Am I trying to make someone else do it my way and am I honoring the way others do their work?

~ Why am I uncomfortable when I stand out or appear to be different? Do I truly accept who I am?

~ Am I honoring my uniqueness and contributions to the workplace…to the world or am I trying to fit in to how others live and work and what their expectations are of who I am?

I am inspired in this new awareness of accepting who I am and in coming back to write and share with you again. I hope these few thoughts have made you think of your life and where you’re at on the path you have chosen. If they have, then I’ve accomplished in some small way what I’ve set out to do. With that I’ll share this quote from Patanjali:

“When you are inspired . . .
dormant forces, faculties, and talents become alive,
and you discover yourself to be a greater person
by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Defining Words

I just read an interesting post from Patricia Singleton at Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker in which she talks about a theory of words by Giulio, an Italian friend of author Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote, Eat, Pray, Love, One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia. His theory is that there is one word that defines each city and describes the thoughts of most of the people that live there. According to Giulio, examples would be: Los Angeles – SUCCEED; New York – ACHIEVE; Rome – SEX; Vatican – POWER.

In this theory it also appears that everyone has a personal word that defines them. It changes throughout our lives as we evolve and I can see how my personal words have changed.

When I read this post, I thought about it and in my youth my personal word would have been SURVIVAL thrown in with the word OBSERVATION. Half a lifetime later, it has changed to CONTENTMENT still accompanied with OBSERVATION.

It’s interesting to me to think how one word can describe a point and time and measure the energy of a city and even a person’s life. Is this true? Yes, I think there’s some truth and validity to this theory but I also think there is so much more to each one of us than what can be described in words no less than a single word.

Considering our lives right now, what is that one word that describes most of what you respond to on a given day or what your thoughts are composed of? How has that one descriptive word changed for you over the years? I’d love to hear your response.

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In Between Worlds

(Photos by Microsoft Clipart) ~~ Having worked in the corporate world most of my life in one way or another it comes at no surprise in my new job to once again be in the multi-tasking and cubicle mode. Only this time it’s a little different.

Having just spent 6 years in a different fashion working for myself pursuing a dream and having become accustomed to reflection time I’ve noticed the pace has picked up considerably. I haven’t given up on my dream of sharing and listening to people’s stories, it just looks different. Instead of facilitating group discussions, I’m learning where connection fits in other places.

You may ask, “Why go back?” Well, bills need to be paid and answers to prayers come in different forms. Going back to working for someone else, I find it interesting, though, that not only has the pace picked up but the expectations are higher, not that I don’t have a high work ethic and high expectations for myself already.

You’re now supposed to almost perform as computers do with top-notch speed along with pinpoint accuracy and efficiency. I even find in the work place that the conversation is different – phrases are short and to the point, the talk is fast and attention is short.

People are not only multi-tasking on the job but the fast past carries through into their personal lives as well and that appears to be the norm. It’s like a whirlwind. You hardly find anyone nowadays only doing one thing at a time. It’s either talking on the phone, text messaging, answering e-mails while driving and carrying on a conversation with a friend all at the same time.

On my way to lunch yesterday, I talked to one of my bosses having noticed he was eating at his desk. I said, “Oh, you’re having a working lunch today?” He said he finds he’s able to get much more work done this way. I asked him, “What about your peace of mind?” in which he said he had given that up a long time ago.

I can function and adapt with this new fast pace and have learned to integrate my quiet and reflective times during the day. In fact, I actually like my job but it’s such a contrast. I find myself in between two worlds. Yet, that is the way it appears our culture is today; although, I don’t think you have to give up one – peace of mind – for the other – fast pace, high productivity.

We can bring the best into both worlds and blend them together. Technology is important in how we function today and learning to use it makes our work easier and faster in addition to sharpening your mind and creativity. It can be fun too. We now can pull up videos, music, photographs and connect to people all over the world.

However, reflection and solitude are essential in balancing our lives. In fact, it’s crucial. If we don’t take time to be quiet and listen to the world breathing around us, functioning in the to-do world won’t flow. You’ll find yourself traveling along and suddenly losing the automatic power steering and brakes. You feel like you have to steer and brake in that world alone on your own strength.

Some of the things I’ve been doing to balance both is:

1. Meditate or have some quiet time in the morning before leaving for work.

2. Occasionally, leave the radio off if driving to work and consciously take in what I see. The mornings are beautiful the way the sun rises and casts its first light on the hills, trees, buildings, roads. Appreciate what I see.

3. When I get to work and boot up my station I mentally set some goals for the day.

4. Going through my work through the morning, I take time to reflect on my breathing at different intervals. It helps to remind me of what’s important and who I am.

5. At lunch, I get away from the office and walk to the park and sit on the ground under the trees to eat and maybe read a little. This way I can ground myself.

6. Go back to work and finish my day thinking of ways on how I can work smarter and faster.

7. End my day, meet my carpool and leave the work behind for the next day. The time now is for going home and for family. It’s my time to share and reflect on the day and consider what I’ve learned.

At the end of the day, life goes on in all its glory in many forms and I believe we’re all exactly where we should be. It’s up to us to participate or sit out. There’s a time for each.

In either case, we can choose to learn and be open to the possibilities and contribute our share for the good of all. That’s what I’m doing. What about you? How are you juggling the contrasting worlds you find yourself in? Are you able to have peace of mind and be true to who you are while doing the work you’re called to do? I’d like to hear how you do it.

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4th of July – A Country Celebrates It’s Birth

Fourth of July is fast approaching where we celebrate the birth of our United States. We have picnics, gather with family and friends and watch fireworks boom and sizzle.

I shared with the Assisted Living residents last Sunday evening a couple of stories about our Forefathers Wayne Dyer told in one of his lectures. Please allow me to paraphrase and share these stories with you:

It was the year 1826 and Thomas Jefferson lay on his bed at Monticello near death. His aid comes in and asks him, “How are you?”

Jefferson asks, “What day is it?” The aid said, “It’s the 4th of July, Mr. President, exactly 50 years since the signing of the Declaration of Independence.” With that, Jefferson said, “Adams lives” and closed his eyes and died.

Meanwhile in Massachusetts, Adams also lay ill and asks his aid, “What day is it?” He is told it is July 4th exactly 50 years since the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Like Jefferson, he said, “Jefferson lives” and closed his eyes and passed away.

When have you ever heard of two U.S. Presidents dying in the same year let alone in the same day within hours of each other? Here are two Presidents who played such an important role in the conception and creation of one of the most sacred and honored documents declaring freedom for its people.

It wasn’t a popular thing to be doing at the time…challenging the most powerful country in the world, Great Britain. If the Revolutionary War had turned out differently our Forefathers would have most likely been executed as traitors. In signing that document it could have very well meant death.

Fast forward four score and seven years to 1865 and we find our nation engaged in a terrible Civil War. There is a prominent and popular Shakespearean actor in Washington, D.C., world renown, who has just heard the devastating news that President Lincoln had been assassinated at Ford Theatre at the hand of his brother, Thomas Wilkes Booth.

Edwin Booth goes into deep despair and depression. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone and is living, but just barely, with very little interest in acting anymore.

Years later, he finds himself in Philadelphia on the platform awaiting a train. Just as the train approaches someone pushes a young lad off into the oncoming train. He jumps down and hurls the boy out of the way of the train just in time saving the boy’s life. A few days later, he gets a letter from Mary Lincoln thanking him for saving the President’s son. Edwin Booth resumes his career.

This country and many countries have been blessed with people who’ve had visions and a love for freedom and one another. There are Forces that have kept this country strong and sure and it feels good to remember those who have gone before and paved the way for the beautiful gift of freedom.

I hope you enjoy your 4th this year. In the midst of the BBQ’s and fireworks, please take a moment and remember the many things we enjoy giving thanks to those who have served and are continuing to serve this country and countries all over the world to keep us safe and free.

Happy Birthday United States of America!

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