Bless You – That’s All the Approval You Need

I read something this morning that tends to go along with some of my most recent posts. It’s taken from a book I’m reading by Richard Bode entitled Beachcombing at Miramar: The Quest for an Authentic Life. He says, “This desire to please others, so widespread, so deeply rooted – I wonder where it comes from. Is it the result of what others do to us, or what we do to ourselves…..? We yearn for a blessing from those who have the power to bestow it on us, and when they don’t give us what we crave, we blame ourselves.”

This is true in many ways. A lot of times, the occupations we pick are to satisfy what someone else wants for us or where we live is to make our families happy. Are we living lives that are true and authentic for what we desire or are they carbon copies of others? Bode goes on to say, “The impoverished in spirit have no choice but to bless themselves. This is as true….for me, as it is for every individual who yearns for the affirmation they never had. We must bless ourselves; there is no other way. If we don’t, there is no telling how far we will go or what terrible acts we will commit to prove our worthiness.”

I got to thinking about this in relation to what I quoted from Dr. Northrup in my Nov 30th post $$$ Money $$$ – Where Is It – Where Can I Get Some?, where she says, “Those who have trouble receiving attract those who have trouble giving.” Perhaps, the approval we are pursuing lies in whether we can receive it or not. Can we give ourselves permission to receive the acknowledgement of a job done well? Sometimes, the approval is there and it comes but somewhere within we’re rejecting it before we can even see that it’s there.

I live in the Rocky Mountains in Colorado and every year for at least 20 years we get a permit from the U.S Forest Service to cut our Christmas tree. They have special areas set up for this every year to thin the forests. Yesterday was our assigned day to get our tree. It was a beautiful day, blue skies and mild temperatures for this time of year, a little wind and not much snow to trudge through. In the past, we’ve usually been able to spot our tree and have it cut and loaded in usually about 45 minutes. It was taking much longer this year and we went from spot to spot, get out and roam around only to come up short. I guess after 20 years of Christmas tree cutting in this area, the perfect-shaped trees had all been taken. We moved onto another area and my husband was getting a little discouraged but we decided to have patience and enjoy the scenery, beautiful day and allow the right tree to show itself to us. Then, there it was off to the distance next to a large, mature tree. It was like we were drawn to it. In the past, a part of me always felt a little sad to take a tree out of such a beautiful setting only to set it up in a warm house and adorn it with plastic ornaments and blinking lights. It felt unnatural. But it was different this time. It seemed like the tree offered itself to us wanting to celebrate with us the birth of Jesus and join us in prayer for Peace on Earth. After we gave thanks and asked blessings for the tree, we brought it back to the car, loaded it up and headed out to the main highway. As we were driving along the dirt Forest Service road, a rock outcropping caught my husband’s eye. It was a huge boulder balanced perfectly on top of another boulder. The boulder had a strong pull and so we stopped and got out and climbed up to it. There was such a strong, loving energy coming from the boulder and I put my arms around it as far as they would stretch as the boulder was immense. As I stood there, allowing myself to receive what energy this boulder was giving, I felt like it was giving me love and for the first time I could actually feel myself accepting it and receiving it. I permitted myself to receive this pure love without having to reciprocate. The energy was so strong and giving that it brought tears to my eyes. I felt like I had been reunited with an old friend. I think because I have been preparing and writing on a number of these types of subjects they had become more apparent to me and my awareness more acute when they presented themselves. The rest of the day continued this way and when we got home I was able to write the posting for my blog with the information coming together effortlessly (and I think it is one of my best postings – Footprints in the Sand – Footprints We Leave Behind). The day ended with the most beautiful sunset capturing gorgeous blue and orange hues. This was a perfect day and I realized it unfolded that way mostly because I allowed it and permitted myself to receive the blessing and accept what presented itself. Each day can be a perfect day for you and me, not just a random event, if we open ourselves up to the possibility. Permit yourself to be blessed and if there’s no one around to acknowledge it, bless yourself.

Richard Bode goes on to describe his appreciation for one of America’s most important and successful artist, Georgia O’Keeffe See Biography. He is moved not only by her paintings but by her words in which he quotes her saying, “I get out my work and have a show for myself before I have it publicly. I make up my own mind about it – how good or bad or indifferent it is. After that the critics can write what they please. I have already settled it for myself so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free.”

Permit yourself to appreciate who you are and what you do. Don’t wait for someone else’s approval – bless yourself.

From the kitchen table – Pat
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Footprints in the Sand – Footprints We Leave Behind

Many of you have heard or read the poem, “Footprints in the Sand”, by Mary Stevenson (Zangare). For those of you who have not, you can view it from this website: Footprints in the Sand (click on poem). This is such a beautiful poem and it touches so deeply and reveals our vulnerability. Some place within, we all want to know Someone is looking out for us. A Higher Power that knows all and cares for us especially in our greatest time of need. This poem gives comfort in that.

And yet, I think we can take it further and consider the footprints we’re making right now as you walk along this path of life. What would you most want to be remembered for? It’s not just what you’ve accomplished but the imprint you’ve made along the way with your loved ones and those you come in contact with everyday. Do you think they’ll remember you and how? Or, perhaps more importantly, why should they remember you…or me? These are the footprints. Dr. Wayne Dyer talks about our lives being like a beginning parenthesis when we’re born and when we die an ending parenthesis. We don’t bring anything in and we don’t take anything out and what’s in between the parenthesis is what we get to do with our lives and how effective we are with the gifts and talents we’ve been given. At times, we get caught up so much in the accomplishing and acquiring of things that we miss the importance. Dr. Dyer has also said, “You are not what you have,” You are not what you do,” and “You’re not what people think of you.” Then who are you? You’re that footprint moving through life one step at a time. You’re learning and growing and remembering who you are and where you came from and when you remember a piece of it and it shines forth, you pass it onto another and then you continue on your path.

On Sunday evenings I meet with a group at an Assisted Living Center and last night was special. It opened up some ideas I had on Footprints that I wanted to write about but didn’t quite have the words formed to put down on paper. The Center is now beautifully decorated for Christmas and they’ve put up a tree in the library where we meet. The only ornaments on this tree are small, framed pictures of the residents at an earlier time. It was fun to see what they looked like when they were younger and it occurred to me that this is how we move through our lives. When you have children, you look at them as babies and wonder what they’ll look like when they grow up. And, as each stage comes and goes, you see that individual change in the size and shape of their body, the color of their hair, and shape of their face. Then, you look back at their baby picture and you can see the resemblance but also what totally appears to be a different person. As you keep walking through life leaving your footprints, you’re now middle-aged and you look back at your pictures and see how much more you’ve changed. You continue on this life’s journey and arrive in your golden years and look back and hardly resemble those earlier pictures taken of you in a time that seemed so long ago. You’re at the other end of the continuum from when you started as a baby, but similar, in that the form you now carry is no longer the form you knew throughout most of your life. So, you continue on this path until you’re carried back home from where you first began. The footprints you’ve left behind may appear to have washed away with the waves of time but the essence of who you are will always remain forever.

Where are your footprints taking you right now on this path; how are they impacting the world? It’s time, today, to make your footprints count no matter whom you are or what is your walk of life. You have come here for a reason. No one else like you can impact the lives of those around you. A friend, Tom LaRotonda of Core Matters (www.corematters.com) passed along a story via e-mail about Paul Potts, a car phone manager in Bristol, England, who took the chance and let his brilliance shine. Overcoming his shyness and lack of self-confidence, he stepped on stage in answer to a strong passion for music and opera. Watch the faces of the judges and audience transform as he auditions in March of this year for a new talent show in England called Britain’s Got Talent where they were primed for another failure to the glorious disbelief and astonishment for what they heard.
http://www.maniacworld.com/Phone-Salesman-Amazes-Crowd.html

Make the things you do and the people in your lives and all around you important. Take time this holiday season to soak in the sounds and smells and the spirit of love and share it with others.

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time.

-by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


From the kitchen table – Pat
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$$$ Money $$$ – Where Is It – Where Can I Get Some?

Isn’t that the buzz today? The interest in money is probably not much different today than it always has been but today its importance seems to rank right up there as much as air, water and food for our survival. I think what gets us in trouble is that we forget that it’s just a tool and a tool that can be used to help or harm. It’s a gift to assist us in putting our talents and creations out into the world to better the world.

It’s interesting. Ever since I started this blog this week, I really don’t know what I’m writing about until I take my morning shower. By then, I usually have some ideas circulating around in my head. That’s when I was somewhat surprised when this topic popped up and it’s actually taken me longer to put into words because of things I’m working through. I guess it started last night when I caught the end of a PBS lecture by Dr. Christiane Northrup that peaked my interest. She said, “Those who have trouble receiving attract those who have trouble giving.” I thought, “Wow, that’s interesting. I never quite heard it expressed like that before.” Then I turned it around, “Those who have trouble giving attract those who have trouble receiving,” and I wondered what that would feel like. Which way strikes you the most? If it resonates with you, then it’s probably something you need to make note of. It’s important in the laws of attraction to be congruent with our feelings and core beliefs and if your daily actions and thoughts don’t match, then you’re in conflict. If that’s the case, the first thing to help bring you more in line is to become more aware of your thoughts and actions and how that feels, check it and change it to how you want to think and feel. We have operated on autopilot for so long that we aren’t aware of what we’re thinking, how we feel and what we’re saying and then we wonder why we’re getting what we have in our lives. You have probably heard these things before. I know I have. This world’s nature is abundance. You look at a flower or a vegetable plant. You don’t just get one seed – there are thousands of seeds. One apple tree doesn’t just produce one apple. The force that put this world in place only knows of abundance and it’s not being withheld from us. Then, if we’re in lack, what’s the problem?

Another thing to consider about money and abundance is when you have it, what do you do with it? Do you feel you have to do everything you can to hold onto it? There was an interesting passage I came across, also yesterday (guess this topic had been showing up in many ways), and it’s from a beautiful book I’m in the process of reading by Richard Bode entitled, Beachcombing at Miramar: The Quest for an Authentic Life. It reads, “They meant well, as friends so often do, …..their advice was founded on the mistaken assumption that money is a solid, which, once relinquished can never be regained. But money isn’t a solid; it’s a fluid, like water. The cupful I spill over one side of the ship, I scoop up again on the other side.” This is such a visual picture for me and helped me understand that when we receive money we keep the flow going and pass it along. It never diminishes. We just reach over to the side of the boat and dip in for more. There’s plenty and enough for everyone.

I fully understand what some of you might be experiencing right now, coming up with money for bills and keeping food on the table. I’m right there with you. I have bills to pay and the doors seem to be closed right now on getting employment back in the corporate world and yet I’m excited. This is a new adventure for my husband and I. I’ve shed the overwhelming fear and pushed through my tantrums of trying to make it happen my way. Now, I’m at peace knowing I’m on the ride of a lifetime and doing what I know to do at this time building this blog with my personal stories, thoughts and resources to help put you on the path that will show you the way it works….for you and me. I don’t catch my thoughts and actions every day but I’m much better than I used to be. I am a work in progress with a mighty force guiding me all the way and so are you. You have to keep tinkering with it until it fits for you and feels right and you see it working. Don’t give up. As Dr. Wayne Dyer said, in The Power of Intention, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

From the kitchen table – Pat
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Hooking Up – Finding that Connection

If I had to answer the question, “What is your calling?” the closest response I could give – hook up and find that connection. It seems like in our society today we keep trying to find ways to separate, yet through internet access, cell phones, blackberries, etc., we appear to be more in touch with each other than ever before. True, technologically speaking, but can we talk to our children? Do we know how our elderly mother or father is feeling when they’re facing assisted living care? Or, what is going on with me? I can’t seem to be able to connect with my feelings or express myself. I’m too busy. This is complex and I don’t claim to know what’s happening here. I just want to present it to you.

If you’ve ever been around horses, you’ve probably heard the names of Tom Dorrance and Ray Hunt. They are pioneers in horse training and animal communication – horse whisperers – who I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and seeing in action. When you watch them work with a horse in a round pen, you’ll see something beautiful happening in the dance between man and animal.

There’s a broken link being reconnected where the horse, in his struggles to trust the human again, slowly yields, stops and turns facing the man. This is what is called “hooking up”. You can see it in the horse’s eyes when he makes that choice and looks to the human for help and guidance. It is the beginning of a relationship of give and take, learning from each other and is beautiful to see.

How can we translate this to us? How can we hook up to our husband or wife, our children, co-workers, friends and be truly present with them, plugged into what they’re saying and doing?

Growing up with my parents and sister in a small town southeast of Philadelphia, I learned early that I was living in a home where there was very little communication.

There was much disharmony and mistrust and arguments to the point I wondered if they knew I even existed. This went on throughout their whole lifetime and somehow I always wanted to find a way to help them reconcile with each other. I never knew the root of their issues only the evidence.

When I married and moved out to Colorado, I kept in touch regularly and went back for visits. Each time I went back, I would think, “Maybe, this is the time I can get them to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk where they would consider each other’s feelings and talk it out.” In 1985, my mother died suddenly in her sleep and I flew back to help my Dad and sister.

The arrangements were in disarray in that they had made no preparations and had no money. Dad was a mess, my sister and I were heart broken losing our mother and the opportunity to help them reconnect lost forever. After the burial, I flew back to Colorado and I can remember sitting on the plane still in shock and emotionally numb. I kept asking, “Why?” “Why did they have such a life of arguing and fighting and poverty?” “Why couldn’t they change or see past it?” I couldn’t get over it. It kept rolling over and over in my mind that it seemed like such a waste.

When I got home and went to bed that evening, I still couldn’t shake this and, when I finally fell asleep, I had a vivid dream. I could see my mother with steel cables coiled around her from head to toe. Off to the side, I could see a hand holding a pair of clippers. The hand moved toward my mother and cut each of the cables until she was totally free. I remembered this dream the next day when I awoke and it helped bring closure and peace.

We often are so stuck in our beliefs and how we think things should be. We’re hurt and can’t get past the pain, like my mother. Her trying to control the situation and acting out the pain only made it worse and ruined what life they could have had together.

Are you holding onto something so tight you’re willing to give up your life for it – unable to yield like the horse and consider another way? I learned a big lesson that day – one of compassion. We don’t know what each other’s feeling or the pain but if we can gently give guidance and help point to healing and trust – like the horse whisperer – what a new world this would be.

Where is the human whisperer? There are people out there for you and me: a close friend, relative or someone in your church, who have gentle compassion and can direct us safely to a place where we can trust again and connect to our relationships and a healthy life. We just need to be willing to yield and hook up.

From the kitchen table – Pat

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Finding Inspiration

Whenever I need a boost for the day, I always look at this poem I have posted within easy view. Again, I don’t know the source. It came by way of e-mail and has been an incredible source of inspiration for me. I’ll share it with you:

Faith

When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen:

      There will be something solid for you to stand upon,
      or, you will be taught how to fly

© 1997 Patrick Overton

“Used by Permission from the Author”

Inspiration (in spirit) is within us always and never leaves us. It’s like the sun. There may be storms and clouds blocking our view but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s always there. We may not feel or see anything around us that would inspire us but it’s there just waiting for us to notice, a trigger to clue us in. Sometimes, when the distractions around us are so great and demanding we have to stop and choose to change our thoughts to something more inspirational instead of letting our minds go out of control on autopilot.

I remember when I worked in the corporate world, the days would pass so fast like a whirlwind and yet it seemed I accomplished very little. At the end of the day, I would shut down everything and run for my bus. On the way to my bus, I’d have to think, “Did I breathe today?” “I must have….I’m still here.” I know our lives get so hectic with putting out “fires” all day, you wonder how you got on this merry-go-round. You can’t find much inspirational in that day after day, but it’s there because you carry it around inside you and it’s all around you. In these cases, this is where we stop and become aware of where we’re at and what we’re doing at that moment and make a conscious choice to change our thoughts and our focus. If you can’t do that at that moment, try at least to stop and become aware of your breathing and be thankful for that. You may be chasing so hard and your mind on overload, this may be a difficult task at first. But the more you work on it, the more you’ll notice being in tune and in flow. Try it and let me know how it works for you.

From the kitchen table – Pat
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