I’ve come a long way with trust and I readily admit that I still have some work to do. I never really thought I had trust issues until late one morning in the early 1980’s it became real apparent.

In our neighborhood, every morning several neighbors would gather at my house after the kids left for school for coffee and talk religion, philosophy, whatever came up. It was a lively group and all of us had our opinions of how the world should be run. On the outside, it would appear we were self-righteous and holy thou’ers but we really were searching for answers.

We had our stack of bibles and reference books and would dig and cross reference extensively on that particular topic of the day. You’d think we were Bible scholars. We would pray and ask for guidance at the beginning of our gathering with intentions of truly wanting to learn.

It was at one of these mornings that, out of the blue, I heard in my head someone say, “You don’t trust me.” It seemed peculiar to me as it was not what we had been talking about and, as it was a masculine voice I heard, I knew it didn’t come from one of my neighbors. I took note and pondered on it for days…. “Where did that come from?” “Who said that?” “Who don’t I trust?”

Note: I want you to know that I know this is weird and could qualify for one of those “woo woo” experiences but I can’t discount or explain it away. It happened some 27 years ago and it put me on a path of exploration and growth. I never had any further explanations or revelations of what that meant but since that day my faith and philosophies have evolved and I’ve grown with a lot more wisdom on trust.

Dr. Wayne Dyer, in his “Manifesting Your Destiny” lecture series, talks about coming to a place where you have to decide to take a leap of faith – dig deep and find the courage. It may be way out there in terms of what you’ve been taught to believe. He says it’s like standing on the edge of this huge, black abyss and you jump. But, when you jump, you’re holding on to a boulder which carries you down faster. Then, you not only have to have the courage to jump but also the courage to let go of the boulder and trust.

Of course, he isn’t talking literally but in metaphorical terms. Have any of you been struggling with what to do and it seems like everything you try isn’t working? Have you thought of taking a totally different approach but it’s something you’ve never done before and it scares you. That’s like standing on the edge of the abyss.

I’ve felt that with starting this blog and sharing my stories and experiences with you. I’m not a literary expert or writer. In fact, as a child I didn’t like to read. It was a pet peeve to me cause I thought you were wasting your time sitting in the house reading when the world outside was passing you by.

As you can see, I’ve changed that outlook and have had a lot of catching up to do. This is the last thing I ever thought I would be doing. When I heard this lecture, it raised my awareness in many situations. I learned to take a chance and go for it, whatever it is. It showed me how to trust not only in myself but in the energy force within all of us.

Another interesting story came to me a couple of years ago by way of e-mail that also challenged this trust issue and I want to share it with you. I don’t know its source. It’s called The Rope. If you can place yourself in the same position, what would you do? I had to ask myself those same questions and because I did I am much further along the path today. I’m sure there will still be situations that come up testing how much I am willing to trust. I hope that whatever you’re facing today, you’ll seek inner guidance and trust knowing you’ll be okay.

From the ol’ kitchen table – Pat

Dr. Wayne Dyer in his book, Wisdom of the Ages, quotes from a poem, “Ode on a Grecian Urn”, from John Keats: ““Beauty is truth, truth beauty,” – that is all Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.” Dr. Dyer goes on to talk about truth being what’s real for us in what we’ve experienced and accomplished. He also talks about truth being a life force and tells a story about a dead stick he was about to clear out that turned out to be alive.

We talked about this last night at Morningstar Assisted Living and touched on some things that were true to them and if truth changes. I thought more about how that discussion related in my personal life and I could identify with Dr. Dyer’s example of the dead stick. It seems like, when our lives don’t appear to be going in the direction we want it to, we’re ready to give up, just chuck it all.

What appears to be like a dead stick, is all we think is possible, but, if you consider the life force that is in everything and focus on that instead of what it looks like, amazing things happen and there lies the beauty. It’s like the acronym for Fear: F-false, E-evidence, A-appearing, R-real. Whenever, you’re overcome with fear, try to take a step back and assess the situation and locate the truth and beauty and focus on that and see where it takes you. Hold onto that until you get a new direction and take action.

This blog is my beginning. I’m taking action and focusing on truth and beauty and offering my thoughts to you. Again, I am reminded of the numerous times throughout my life when things that appeared real were false and, when I held onto the possibility of good coming out of it, the result was a miracle.

One small example was in the corporate world. I was giving an overview of the 4-part series of Wisdom For The Ages in a supervisor’s meeting. I had been given permission to pilot this talking-stick series and was working on getting the word out by meeting individually with managers and supervisors to let them know what this was about and the details so they could attend as well as their employees.

Typically, after giving a short description of what we would be talking about and it’s purpose, I would read a poem and it would be well received, except for this particular supervisor’s meeting. This was the first time I attended a supervisor’s meeting, collectively. I was not aware of the competitiveness and down-to-business, stick-to-the-agenda nature.

The energy felt cold and I was slotted to speak first so as to get onto business. I gave my overview, extended the invitation to come to the meetings and read the poem, “The Final Analysis” from Dr. Wayne Dyer’s There’s A Spiritual Solution To Every Problem. This is a poem found on the walls of Mother Teresa’s ashram.

As I left the meeting, with very little response, I felt rejected and “stupid”, as if you could actually feel stupid. I was overcome with emotion. All I could think was, “What are you doing?” “What makes you think something like this actually fits in the corporate world?” I had to go into a breakout room, close the door and be alone for a couple of minutes to compose myself, fighting back the tears, before I could go back to my desk.

I remember calling my husband and telling him what happened and how I felt and what he said brought me back to why I was doing this. He said: “It doesn’t matter what they thought. It doesn’t change what it is.” That was enough to help me compose myself.

I went back to my desk and shortly afterwards the supervisor’s meeting broke up. One of the supervisors passed my desk and stopped to talk to me. She told me how she was moved by what I said and the poem. It was exactly what she needed to hear as she was going through a crisis in her life and was close to tears. This certainly wasn’t what I had been picking up but I only had been focusing on what I believed to be true – the dead stick, which was false.

Things aren’t always how they appear, as what was evident in this story. Give yourself a chance to let it unfold and reveal the truth as it is supposed to. Look for the life force, the truth and beauty that are in everything. It’s there – all around us just waiting to be discovered. What are you focusing on today?

From the kitchen table – Pat

***************************************