I was humbled today in a very tender way. So much so, I felt embarrassed and was moved to tears. It led me to write this post to capture what I felt so I would remember.
As is the case, I’m grateful in not having to plan most of my days. Instead, I enjoy watching them unfold. I found myself this morning watching this day unfold by attending to techy, computer work. Hubby had gotten another external hard drive with more space to back up our files as I had run out of room on the other drive. I tend to accumulate stuff and have difficulty purging. That’s a topic I’ll save for a different time.
It seemed simple. Create a new folder on the new drive and copy and paste files over from my laptop. As he was giving me the instructions on the new drive, I found my chest and throat tightening to a point where I was having trouble talking. I was panicking about something new to learn and afraid of messing up something I believed to be important. I know it sounds crazy.
I’ve felt this before when I’ve had difficulty understanding, afraid of losing something or screwing it up beyond repair. I don’t know why I get myself so worked up with computer stuff. Lord knows I’ve worked my way through so much in creating a blog, videos, and e-book, even worked as an administrative assistant for some 25+ years. So, on it went with the banter back and forth until I just copied the ‘dang’ files over . . . and then it happened.
Hubby called me to watch this short video and in the watching I was stopped in my tracks. It gave me an understanding of how silly all this stuff is and what we put ourselves through. Where does it lead and what does it get us? My head didn’t understand but I know somewhere inside of me did with my whole being. It seemed so simple.
Now, I was being shown how it’s done and how to live in the purest form by this gentle soul, Paul Smith, the Typewriter Artist. I don’t know that I can find words to do justice to what this taught me and also note how quick the universe was to kindly point it out with hints of guidance ― I’m thankful it was kind. May you be tenderly touched, as I was, in watching someone who is real, humbly going about the business of living in the most modest of circumstances, while using the talents he’s been given ― no complaints. God bless him. The video says it all.
After watching this, I was embarrassed with how much energy I used getting worked up about computer stuff, as if it was crucial and my life depended on it. I was embarrassed on how little I have to be fearful of in conquering something new, when compared to what Paul has achieved and continues to overcome. I was taken aback by the amount of effort it takes for him in what I would regard as the simplest of tasks.
Yes, it certainly put things in perspective. In the gentlest of ways, I got the message to get over it and use how much I have been given to do the things I love. When you’re picture comes from the inside, it will find a way to get outside.
I was moved to tears by his attitude in how he diligently goes about his work with no one to impress nor timeframe to satisfy. He’s happy and feels blessed with his life ― fulfilled. How different from what life looks like out here with the structure and demands we put on it. How hard we make it when we should just learn to have a heart full of gratitude with the gifts we’ve been given and use them ― joyfully.
I can continue to bang on life to get something out of it or softly listen and be grateful for what tools I have to simply use, enjoy and share. That seems so uncomplicated and is all that’s really needed.
I hope this stirred something in you, as it did me, and that you’ll share.
Pat from the ol’ kitchen table