Been Off The Grid — In Between Worlds

door ajar

Door Photo – © 2012 by Jim Ruppel

I’ve been off the grid with cataract surgery. I feel I’m in between worlds now with surgery done on one eye and the other scheduled for next week.

It’s like I’m walking in one door seeing the world the way I’ve always seen it and now feeling a transformation where I’m beginning to see what I’ve missed for so many years.

I don’t know what it will all be like when I come out the other side. Only, if what I’ve experienced so far is any clue, I’m in heaven.

I’m waking up to many things connected to my eyes — ha, even discovering that I didn’t know I was lost.

Thank you for staying with me and being there. No doubt, there will be more to come. I’m truly grateful for all of you and this life-changing experience.

Pat from the ‘ol kitchen table

Wouldn’t Take Nothin’ For My Journey Now

Men Walking in the Woods

Men Walking in the Woods by MSN Clipart

I’m lying low these days and taking advantage of the cold and wintry season to soak in the writings and reflections of others. I’ve felt spent with no words of my own, like what my fellow blogger Andrea Stephenson speaks about in “Anatomy of Creation”,

“My creativity was stripped back and emptied out.  Now, I’m armed only with dreams and bones.”

Maybe, it’s a way of discovering and nurturing dreams I didn’t know I had and the making of new decisions. I like what she follows up in saying:

I’ve seen the patterns begin to emerge – one idea building upon another, unlikely links forming, layer on layer, becoming seeds of something soon to be born.”

I’m feeding and drawing on the wisdom and energy of authors in so many good books at my disposal in hubby’s library. I didn’t know it would feel this good to read all day, fantasizing, caught up in another world. It has been exactly what I’ve needed and I’m being inspired.

I’m enjoying this dormant place with an occasional spark of excitement for new things to come, of which I have no knowledge. In retrospect, as I pan over my life, I suppose I can feel what Maya Angelou wrote, “Wouldn’t take nothing for my journey now.

Friday, I am going in for an eye appointment for another consultation on cataract surgery. I can’t help but feel this has been part of the journey in a life-long dream to see clear. I don’t know that I’ve ever known what that has felt like.

I’ve always experienced some compromises in correcting my vision but the stress I’ve felt in this process has been surprisingly emotional. I’m confident in knowing I’ve done my research and I’m now on the right path. It’s one of those new decisions bound to make a huge difference in my life.

Some of what I’ve taken from the things I’ve read over the past several months is that we’re important and connected, no matter how much of it we understand. Just as Sue Hubbell talked about with her bees’ sudden change of direction in her book “A Country Year”, there is a voice speaking to even some of the most miniscule creatures giving guidance and direction. We just need to be open to hear it.

I’m listening and opening my ears, more and more, every day to hear, feel and witness the miracles of life. It’s in the stillness, when my soul is touched, and I take comfort that voice will be there for me, as well, in the decisions I make and how my life unfolds.

The journey is good and wouldn’t take nothin’ for it, plugging along inviting the miraculous. How about you and your life’s journey? Are you beginning to stir and feel the life coming back about ready to change? I’d like to hear about it.

Pat from the ol’ kitchen table

I See Them Dancing

Moonlight Over Alaska

Moonlight Over Alaska — © MSN Clipart

“I see them dancing somewhere in the moonlight”. Those are the words that sparked an interesting talk with hubby and me the other night. Funny, after over 48 years, how in a moment’s notice love and romance show up and lets you know they’re always there.

That’s what happened to us and it was lovely when we found ourselves dancing in each other’s arms.

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Hubby had just finished a book by Pete Hamill, called “Snow in August”, and was telling me how, in the end, the rabbi finally got to dance with his late wife in the moonlight. It reminded me of a song I’ve always loved. So, we dug through the CD’s and found it.

As we danced, I felt my heart fill with love and could imagine the same for the 2 lovers John Denver wrote about dancing in the moonlight on the frozen Alaskan tundra.

Back in 2008, I wrote a whole week of posts for Valentine’s. One post was called “A Song For All Lovers” and included this song. He wrote it in tribute to wilderness pioneers 93-year old Mardy Murie and her late husband, their love for each other and Alaska.

I realized that night how tender and endearing love is no matter what age. You can’t purchase it or force it but is something to be longed for and cherished. I’m blessed to have my lover still with me, after so many years, and hope to hold our love close to my heart for many years to come like Mardy.

Now, in our golden years, as our lives rush along at a faster pace, the moments become more precious. They’ll warm my heart and I’ll remember when we danced, not in the moonlight and frozen tundra, but at home in the Rocky Mountains in our living room.

Hold your loved ones close and remember the moments you have together.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Pat from the ol’ kitchen table

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Acknowledgements: Moonlight Over Alaska -- © MSN Clipa more...

Fireside Chats ― Kitchen Table Talks Revisited

kitchen table talks

My Kitchen Table Photo © 2015 by Pat Ruppel

I’m happy to say some of you were interested in this adventurous endeavor of mine (see previous post “Fireside Chats and Kitchen Table Talks”). Thank You! I even had a Google+ video chat scheduled. But, it was not to be for now. No doubt to be revisited another time ― another day, for sure.

After a number of attempts, I can see I have much more to learn in how I want to present this to you and it’s not enough to just invite the miraculous. I need to have access to more technology and the internet needs to cooperate (went down that day). So, maybe the universe was telling me something that I didn’t know.

In researching this, the planning and scheduling of it, I could feel my comfort limits being pushed. Oh, come on, I’ll level with you ― I was freaking out! I was definitely out in “no-where land”. Perhaps, some of you are reading this and thinking, “What’s the big deal ― I don’t get it.” But, what I envisioned for these talks and how it was shaping up were two totally different things.

For me, it was much more than an incidental chat that people do over the internet all the time ― it was a gathering where the energy of the conversation takes on a life of its own. Let me explain.

Years ago in the late ‘70’s, I used to have some neighbors over for coffee regularly after our kids went to school. It turned into a type of Bible study but the conversations were not limited to religion. They were more deep and personal. We came from different faiths even with one as an atheist. I loved the exchange and realness in the discussions and we never knew where it would lead. Because we were open and valued each other’s views, it truly felt as if there was an invisible energy force among us giving life to the talks. Maybe, God was in our midst (“where two are three are gathered in my name . . .”)

One morning, we began talking about creation and the differences in what people believe and how we believe ― biblical versus scientific ― no right or wrong answer, just talking. We got on the topic of the biblical belief of man being created from dust and the old saying, “ashes to ashes ― dust to dust.”

That led to another question I threw out, “what’s the difference between dust and dirt?” It must have been a big deal in the distinction in the Bible because we found out in searching through the Strong’s Concordance among other resources that in biblical times people would come to scrape off dust in leper’s homes.

With our imaginations heightened, more questions were put out there and the discussion came alive. As the morning waned and the talks wound down, we came to no real conclusions; however, our awareness was stimulated and I felt spiritually awakened somehow. I didn’t understand it.

Typically, before everyone got up from the kitchen table to get ready to leave, we would always hold hands and give thanks opening it up to say whatever was on our hearts. That was done and almost everyone had left when I felt something strange happen. I can remember it to this day.

Let me preface this by saying I know what I’m about to tell you could be considered “way out there”, wacky, woo-woo, just plain crazy. Believe me ― all those things have crossed my mind many times with wanting to understand or explain it away. But, it happened nonetheless.

As I stood, saying my good-byes and watching everyone leave, I heard a voice in my head. It startled me to the point where I turned around looking for the one who had just spoken to me. It was a strong, masculine voice that certainly got my attention. It was only a moment, when it seemed as if time stood still, when I heard the message that still haunts me to this day.

It said, “The cure for cancer is in the dust.” I was shaken and had never heard anything so profound. What was I to do with that? “The cure for cancer is in the dust.” Everyone was gone by now and I was left humbled and somewhat confused.

I made some phone calls to cancer research centers, Oral Roberts University and my pastor. Years later, I even looked up renowned author and scientist, Rupert Sheldrake, and e-mailed him telling him the whole story asking if he had any scientific explanation on what this could mean for a cure for cancer. Would you believe he graciously emailed me back but, unfortunately, could not shine any intellectual light on the matter or give any direction of whom to contact.

So many years have passed since those daily morning gatherings around my kitchen table but that one stands out, in particular, when I hear the latest news updates on treatments for cancer and scientific advances for cures.

I can’t help but wonder why that message came so clearly to me that morning and if there was anything else I could have done. Maybe, the answer lies on the other side of this life of mine. It will be revealed to me someday.

In saying all of this, I wanted to share how powerful and special it is when we come together in spirit whether it’s physically, by our words or electronically over the internet. There is more going on here when we gather with open hearts to exchange our views and listen to one another. I believe there are more messages and more for us to learn beyond our wildest dreams.

I’ll just have to wait and see what unfolds next in my 2015 “inviting the miraculous”. I may have to revisit these fireside chats and kitchen table talks another time. Will you come and sit at my kitchen table when the time comes?

Pat from the ol’ kitchen table

End Note:
A fellow blogger, Susan Cooper, and I had a successful Google+ chat on Feb 12th. She has used this a number of times and was gracious in showing me around giving me tips and advice on how to use the chat. I’m grateful for her expertise.

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